Only In Japan

Niche restaurants

2007-06-29T02:58:00.000-07:00

For a number of reasons, the Japanese eat out often - probably more so than any other people on Earth. The main reasons must be that work colleagues generally have dinner together after a day at the office ("to forge bonds between workers"), people generally meet their friends at a restaurant rather than at home (Japanese homes and flats being so cramped), the Japanese are fundamentally epicurians who love being served... Anyway, the result is an incredible 1 restaurant or food joint for 88 people in Japan.

Think about it. It's pretty amazing.

Of course, the direct consequence of this situation is that competition between restaurants is extremely intense. The advertising market for restaurants is huge, and many TV programmes are devoted to this most popular topic. Restaurants also compete fiercely on price, design, innovation, service... Then when all else is exhausted, the most ambitious restaurants turn to niche markets.

And that's where it gets fun. Consider, for example, the "Moe" Maid Cafes...

The "Moe" (pronounced mo-EH) Maid Cafes are a fairly recent invention. Basically, they're regular cafes where the waitresses are cute young Japanese girls wearing lacy French maid outfits and treating customers with the utmost politeness; the kind of manners level an affluent 19th century French bourgeois would command from his servants. Depending on the place, the food and cakes will be plain to good, but there will always be an emphasis on cuteness and girlishness (think lots of strawberries and cream, and plenty of white-chocolate hearts...). Yes, it's a little kinky, but so what?

The "Moe" phenomenon originated in Tokyo's notoriously geek-friendly district of Akihabara, but has now spread to most major Japanese cities. And while the original target customer for Moe cafes was neurotic otaku (technology and manga geeks), the concept has been so succesful that recently all kinds of people have started to visit these cafes, just because they're a cute and fashionable. But ironically, there are so many "regular people" at those cafes nowadays that the poor otaku now feel completely out of place in the very shops that were created for them...

Anyway, a cup of coffee at a Moe cafe is quite a bit more expensive than at the ubiquitous Starbucks, but the lovely atmosphere and exquisite politeness of the maids do make up for the price difference. Besides, the Moe concept has been really well-thought, with great attention to detail and finesse of execution (as usual in Japan, you might say), all of which make a visit to one of these "maid cafes" a really funny and interesting experience.

Oh, and as an aside: Moe Madness is expanding! Not only internationally (Moe cafes can now be found as far away as Toronto and Paris), but also in its variety: with Moe hairdressers, Moe foot massage, Moe estheticians, etc., the French maid addict can now see all (well, almost all...) of his desires satisfied!
And not surprisingly considering Japan's particular brand of gender equality, "butler cafes" have also started to open in Tokyo. You guess the concept: good looking young men in tails, tuxedos or butler outfits trying to make their female customers feel like they are princesses... Something tells me business is going to be very brisk for the butlers.

Anyway, on to a very different kind of niche restaurants: Cosplay yakiniku!

Have you ever heard of the "Morning Musume"? They aren't as popular as they used to be, but they still have a cult following: the Musume are Japan's answer to the Spice Girls, a group of supercute 15 year-old girls singing some canned lyrics and dancing to some canned tunes. Their lyrics make the Backstreet Boys sound like Jane Austen, but who cares! They're supercute.

Now how would you like to have girls dressed as Morning Musume wait on you at a barbecued meat restaurant?

Not too much? So how about Budweiser girls? Nurses in sexy outfits? Flight attendants? Anime heroins? High School girls? French maids? There's bound to be an outfit that will titillate you!

Welcome to the world of Cosplay yakiniku, a very popular style of restaurants here in Japan. The principle is simple: they are inexpensive all-you-can-eat grilled meat restaurants, staffed by girls dressed as something cute, funny or exotic. It might sound childish, kinky or simply surreal (Nurse! Some more sirloin please!), but for Japanese people it does make sense: food, drinks and cute/sexy girls have always been considered a perfect combination for a merry evening out with friends or colleagues. The fact that the girls wear kinky costumes only adds to the fun, which in turn will help everyone relax more... Unwinding from all the stress of daily life is one of the major reasons why the Japanese like to eat out, so the girls in High School uniforms fit perfectly in the picture!
And by the way, don't think Cosplay Restaurants are only for men either: Japanese women have a very broad definition of what is "cute" or "fun", so if a Cosplay Restaurant is known for its lively atmosphere, they will just flock there without second thoughts. And actually, I think they have a point: If it's fun, just go for it!

Maybe not for a first date, but you get the idea.

So let's say that following my advice, you went to a Moe cafe, and then to a Cosplay yakiniku restaurant; you might now be thinking "yeah that was fun, but I expected something kinkier. Japan isn't really all it's cracked up to be..."
To which I say: try "no-bra" cafes. Or "no-pants" shabu-shabu. Neither is exactly cheap, but both will make for interesting conversation when your friends back home ask how Japan was like.

No-bra cafes are just regular cafes, quiet places where you can sip a capuccino after lunch. Of course, if very busty and very topless waiteresses tend to break your concentration, you might not be able to enjoy your coffee very much, but that's just a detail, isn't it?

Personally, I only go there because the coffee is good though.

No really! I mean it!

Anyway, if you are looking for real kink, "no-pants" shabu-shabu is the place to go... Even most Japanese people consider them a bit on the weird side, which says a lot!

Shabu-shabu is the name of a traditional Japanese specialty: thin slices of beef dipped in boiling water for just a split second (so as to preserve the softness of the meat) then dipped in a traditional Japanese sauce. Try it if you have a chance!

As to the "no-pants" part... Well, let's just say that the young and cute waitresses wear very short mini-skirts and nothing underneath. The floor of those restaurants is generally mirrored. And the fun part is to find excuses to make the staff stand on the tip of their toes, bend over, or generally do anything that will give the customers a chance to peep under their skirts. Sounds offensive? But it's all in good fun, no touching is allowed, and most waitresses are students playing their part of the game for a very generous hourly salary. So if you go there, no need to feel guilty...
Anyway when the bill comes, your feeling of horror will have quenched any ethical dilemmas you might have been having.

Beats Hooters any day, don't you think?

Wa meets the West...Wa, part 3

2007-06-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, a third instalment about Wa... It's the last one though, I swear! But I think it is important to show that the heart of Japan, Wa, with its oppressiveness and its gentleness, is changing and evolving. The social harmony generally admired by Westerners travelling to Japan (the safety, the politeness, the sense of order...) is based to a great extent on an unremitting pressure to conform to the norms of the group and erase one's personal feelings; but this social pressure-based society can hardly coexist with the individualism introduced by the West. Japan is very much a battlefield between these two doctrines, and surely the Japanese can be forgiven for being confused until they sort things out...

The oppressiveness of Japanese society derives mainly from Confucianism, the social doctrine upon which East Asia was built. Confucianism is a school of thought that clearly defines each individual's place in society and his/her rights and duties based on age, gender, rank in society, order of birth among siblings... All these clearly define who is "junior" and who is "senior" in any relationship, as well as what behaviour and manner level are appropriate in any situation.
And "of course", men are more important than women, age is paramount, and in groups or at work ancienty and education level are also major factors in determining rank. In other words: Confucianist societies (most groups in Eastern Asian countries) are, fundamentally, dictatorships of old men. Whether at home, at school or at work, the oldest men in the group have all rights and no duties, and can lord it over everyone else with no possible dissent. And that regardless of virtue, skill, or actual achievement... Whereas junior members of society are only allowed to grit their teeth and wait patiently for their turn to rule.

The practical consequences of this system is that justice is inexistent (if the highest ranking person is always right, then justice just can't exist), people work (or pretend to work) very long and hard, much talent and intelligence is wasted, and society is extremely conservative and has a hard time adapting to a changing environment . On the other hand, Confucianists see Western equalitarianism as resulting in everyone doing nothing but clashing egos with everyone else, being too self-centred to cooperate with anyone, and as a result wasting their time and energy for, in the end, little result and no satisfaction.

For example, in an archetypical Confucianist family, the husband and father may be a drunken slob who beats his wife and kids when the whim takes him, spend most of his salary on gambling and women, and never allows anyone in his house to have an opinion; all these are his rights. And after all, the house will be in order, the kids will study very hard, and the wife will have the twin satisfactions of seeing her children grow into respectable adults and of being part of a stable household; isn't that true happiness? Who could call that man a bad household leader?

For that same drunken slob of a husband and father, a Western family is just Pandemonium. The parents disagree all the time, get divorced as soon as they find someone they fancy more than their present spouse, the kids talk back to their parents and only study what they like when they feel like it, everyone feels entitled to everything, and in the end no-one is even really happy. If that is an enlightened family based on love and mutual respect, then by all means let us back to the Dark Ages! the Confucian would say.

Of course I could have taken politics, work or education instead of the family to illustrate that rift in values between Confucian and Western thinking, but the basic thinking is pretty much the same: from a Confucianist point of view, authoritarianism just works better than anarchy or weak-handed democracy.

Anyway, on to Japan: Japan is pretty much the troubled kid of a Utah Mormon and an Oregon hippie when it comes to social values. In other words: sheer confusion! That's what happens when 1300 years of Confucianism are, in the space of just a few generations, replaced with the notion that Asia is the past and only the West is worthy of admiration... When a society based on duty, tradition and the group clashes with a society based on freedom, rationalism and the individual, it is easy to guess how much mayhem is sure to ensue.

It often feels to me that the Japanese adapt to this situation with a bit of hypocrisy and a bit of opportunism...
That hypocrisy can be seen in the Japanese adopting a Confucian mindframe when it suits them, and then a Western one when it is more appropriate to their interests. The typical example is that of young Japanese women: most of them pretend to dream of a Western-style love relationship, filled with mutual respect and kindness, but at the same time some of the first things they look at in a prospective husband are his salary and how wealthy his family is... Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it!
As to opportunism, it is fairly obvious when you observe where, on the Confucian to equalitarian scale, the Japanese place themselves. For example, most men, especially the older ones, are resolutely Confucian (not much for them to gain in Western equalitarianism), whereas young people (especially women) are all in for Western meritocracy and equalitarianism. Of course, as their station in life changes, their "affiliation" will also evolve...

So are the Japanese just sly opportunists? Maybe. But more than anything else, I think they are pretty much confused by the conflicting values of their past and their present, of traditionalism and rationalism, of Asia and the West. It is hard to find the right path when you constantly hear two opposite opinions as to what that path is! And when in doubt, it is always very tempting to choose the path of self-interest...
Eventually though, I believe the Japanese will realise that only a society based on equality and fairness can work, while not forgetting that too much individualism and ego will poison any group relationship. The best of both worlds, of West and East... The Japanese can find a truer harmony than Wa, I am sure. But the road will be long...

When work is over...Wa, part 2

2007-06-15T03:01:00.000-07:00

While the Japanese spend most of their time in public groups (at work, school etc), it only makes them cherish their private time more. But the way they behave in private groups - with friends, family and partner-, and what they mean by "good relationships in the group" are quite specifically Japanese: much more than Westerners, the Japanese tend to structure group relationships and determine everyone's role in the group very precisely. Their weak point is that they are not very good at managing group relationships that don't have such a structure...

But first, something about friendships in Japan: the Japanese are generally very organised, and believe in the importance of networks and maintaining good relationships with everyone, so they tend to keep friend networks forever. For example, a Japanese in his/her fifties will have accumulated many friend groups over the years: from all the schools they went to (from primary school to University), from the hobby or learning groups they belonged to (English conversation, flower arrangement, tennis...), from each job or part-time job they did... And of course, one of the results of this abundance of friend networks is that a sociable Japanese has to spend a lot of time every year meeting their group friends, keeping up to date on what happened to everyone, and keeping in touch.

But the funny thing is that when those friend groups convene, they will generally fall back on the group conventions that were established ages earlier: for example, High School tennis club members meeting twenty years after graduation will still see the "senior" members lead the conversation, the "shy" characters listen and giggle quietly, the "skirt-chasers" or "men magnets" talk expertly about the opposite gender... Eventhough their present situations might have changed completely. Maybe the shy girl is the new men magnet, the skirt-chaser got married early and hasn't played around in 15 years, whereas the one or two years the "senior" members had on the "junior" members don't mean much anymore... But everyone will pretend nothing has changed.

It feels that unlike in the West where friends meet in groups to see how everyone changed, in Japan they meet for the pleasure of sliding back into comfortable old relationships. Of course, little by little everyone will try to modify their status in the group to something closer to their present reality, but that is quite a minor theme. Actually, change goes against the basic reason for such meetings: basking in the warmth of an accepting group is what everyone is really after. Wa with almost no pressure... No wonder the Japanese work so hard to maintain lifelong group relationships!

Family and couple relationships show a much less rosy picture: that of Wa gone missing. Traditionally (until the 60's at least), males have always been the axis of such relationships; the father being the undisputed leader of the family, and the male the senior member in a couple. It might sound barbarian to us nowadays, but it provided structure to those complex relationships; now that Japan is a much more equalitarian society, things are fairer, but the lack of a guideline is felt quite harshly in couples and families.

A few figures illustrate this situation very explicitly:
-1/3 of all Japanese women over 30 are unmarried (one in two in Tokyo);
-There is one divorce every 2 minutes in Japan;
-The birth rate, somewhere between 1,2 and 1,3 children per woman, is one of the lowest in the world;
-While in the world people have sex on average 103 times a year, the Japanese only do so around 45 times a year (according to the Durex Sex Survey). It is by far the lowest average recorded.

What these bleak figures mean is simple: the Japanese don't know how to build and maintain a couple anymore, or how to create a succesful family.
In fact, they give the impression they are stuck in an uncomfortable place between the traditional Japanese couple and the equalitarian couple: men still seem to hope that devoting their lives to their jobs to bring home a good salary will be enough to earn them respect and gratitude from their wife and children; but said wife and children want their husbands / fathers to be a cheerful and caring presence at home as well. Most men also certainly hope they can be that warm presence for their family; but consider that most Japanese live in conurbations, and start their families at the peak of their professional lives (between 30 and 40): the result is that they are bound to have to spend every day commuting for hours, working late, and will very regularly have to go for drinks with their colleagues and customers. Even with the best of intentions, it is hard to be a good husband and father in those conditions... But when wife and children realise their husband / father will rarely have time to even talk to them, they generally lose interest and respect quickly, and often come to see them just as occasional nuisances that disrupt the regular (though unhappy) family order.

So men see their wives and children as selfish bloodsuckers just interested in draining them off of their salaries, and are seen by their wives and children as selfish boors, not taking part in family life but still expecting everything to revolve around them when they come back home, late and half-drunk, from work. Of course, that situation is a vicious circle: both sides feel increasingly justified in not making any more efforts... It is relatively easy for men to find respect and affection away from home, and also very easy for women to get trapped in frustration over their lives and their husbands; so it should come as no surprise that most divorces are initiated by women... But as everyone else, it is the children who pay the highest emotional toll.

The problem is that equalitarianism has destroyed the old order of rights and duties, but nothing has replaced it. Hoping that "mutual respect springing out from equality" would naturally replace paternalism is, in my opinion, as gross a delusion as thinking that toppling Saddam Hussein would be enough to turn Iraq into a democracy. Unfortunately, just as I have no idea of what will bring harmony to Iraq, I can't see what will (re)create mutual respect in Japanese couples. Shorter working hours and commute (by developping more housing in the cities and less in the suburbs for example) would be a step in the right direction, but I very much doubt it would be enough.

I think the Japanese are still going to have to find most of their happiness in friendship for a long time...

Wa, part 1

2007-06-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

Traveling in Japan or living here for a while might sound very fun, but would you be happy to be Japanese? Their lives don't look too great, do they?
An army of workers in suits and ties, living their lives just for their company, stuck in a strict hierarchy... In fact, "worker bee" is a term the Japanese themselves often use (in jest, though) to describe their lives, and that probably doesn't mean they are too satisfied. But that impression is misleading; for actually, most Japanese are strongly drawn to that kind or group relationships, in which they can find Wa.

Wa, the principle underpinning Japanese society, is one of the key concepts necessary to understand Japan. Wa is generally translated as "group harmony", but that is as much a simplification as translating "ninja" with "assassin": while technically it is correct, a lot of the specific cultural background is lost in translation.
For most Japanese, Wa is a feeling close to perfection: a group situation in which everything goes smoothly, without contestation or ill will, everyone knows their place and act accordingly.

Wa is obviously a very broad topic, so I will treat it in two parts: the public sphere (education, politics, business, unions, research...) and the private sphere (friends, lovers and families). Keep in mind that things are changing, in Japan as much as everywhere; and young people, especially, might seem to think quite differently from what I describe. Still, I personally think as usual that in Japan, a very traditional spirit is more often than not hidden behind the modern facade...

But first things first: how is Wa really different from Western-style group harmony? After all, eventhough opinions might generally be worded more strongly in the West, it is not like Westerners are constantly at each other's throats!
Well... It is just that what social harmony is based on is completely different whether you live in Japan or in the West. In the West, group harmony is (theoretically) based on equality, respect and the right to be oneself: if everyone is treated fairly and feeling happy, then group relationships are supposed to flow smoothly, right?
But in Confucian countries like Japan, China and Korea, harmony is considered to exist when everyone in the group knows precisely his/her place in the hierarchy and behaves accordingly. In other words, when personal feelings are kept out of the equation, and everyone lets loyalty to the group override the yearning for fairness and personal happiness.

Which system works best? It is very tempting to answer "well, the Western system, of course!"; and I would tend to agree with that system in theory, but in practice I doubt things ever work smoothly. I think that when too much individuality and too many expectations of personal fulfillment make their way into group relationships, the whole thing is bound to degenerate into ego conflicts and petty frustrations. Of course, people are not robots, so personal feelings are bound to be a factor in any group relationship; but opening the Pandora's box of happiness and feelings more than necessary is, in my opinion, not a recipe for harmony.

The Japanese Confucean system doesn't really work either, but for different reasons. Actually, being a rigidly hierarchical system, it can work if the person at the top is very good at managing people, but it rarely works that way. Confucean systems are very good at bringing old men to the top of any group and provides no balance of powers. You guess the rest: men progressively stop working or trying to learn new things as they get older, knowing fully well that seniority will keep them rising in the ranks regardless. Besides, they are free to abuse and overwork the females and subordinates in their group, so why bother doing one's best?

You might wonder why said females and subordinates accept that situation. They do so for different reasons: women because they don't intend to stay there anyway - career women are still few and far between, and women who quit their job after marriage are still the norm - and men because 1/ they don't really have much choice and 2/ because they know that if they bid their time for long enough, seniority will turn them into Almighty Old Men, a very enviable position in Japan as anywhere in Asia.

But rapidly increasing numbers of women and young people don't accept that Confucean approach to harmony, and prefer to concentrate on finding Wa in peer groups instead of the workplace. Tempers and part-timers are the best representatives of this recent trend; they are still a minority, especially among men, but they reflect the changing expectations of the young generation.

Will the Japanese manage to strike a better balance between work and private life, and between Confucean hierarchy and Western equalitarianism? Find out next week!

Portrait

2007-06-01T03:31:00.000-07:00

It is debatable whether drawing "national archetypes" has much sociological value. If you say "the average Swede is shy, rational, self-controlled, and believes in ecology, gender equality and community group", for example, any serious sociologist will answer "give me some serious statistics to back your claims, or else they're nothing but cheap racial characterisations!"

And the Sociologist will be right.

So just so you know, today's post is NOT a sociology essay, though it showcases some typical Japanese attitudes that would puzzle most people in the West. It is just a portrait of one of the many unsung heroes of the Japanese economy, a nice guy with a complex personality, who ended up selling his soul to his company.

And that "typical Japanese man" is my colleague and good friend Blackfield (not his real name, obviously), who is just now slumping on his desk 1.30 meters in front of me. 30 years old, slim, slightly dyed hair, glasses, a nervous look on his face: you would probably not pay attention to him if he were sitting next to you in the subway. If you look closer though, you will notice that he is inexpensively well-dressed, in a style quite of his own, and maybe that would let you guess the sensitivity hidden behind his "worker bee" demeanor.

Because the truth is, Blackfield is a real nerve ball. The Japanese would say, "it's not surprising he is so nervous, his blood type is A!"... Which would make him one of these people (quoting myself, sorry):
"Blood type A people are nervous perfectionists, law-abiding and working well in groups. They have a "perfect employee and good citizen" image, but are also associated with what Westerners call an anal-retentive personality, and as such are sometimes regarded as "not fun"."

And the thing is, that's exactly him! Blackfield is the "straight arrow", absolutely loyal, always doing the right thing, always terrified to do wrong, never relaxing, and happy in only one circumstance: when he has too much work and too many responsabilities, and he knows everyone is aware he is working too hard. Blackfield is also extremely patient: however much abuse the boss, the customers and I might throw at him, he always takes it without complaining, and never says no.

It's not that he doesn't have an opinion, far from it: Blackfield is very intelligent and realisitic, so he generally knows pretty accurately if something is going to work or not. But that's where Blackfield shows he is a true Japanese: for him, the truth is something akin to dynamite, i.e. a substance that can sometimes be useful, but which most of the time only means "deadly dangerous". So for fear of disrupting the group harmony, or making someone feel bad, Blackfield will often lie (especially by omission), evade the topic, mislead, or answer with generalities that he knows full well to be false. And for the same reason, he will rarely say "no". Of course, this often puts him in an awkward position, and generally has rather bad long-term consequences for him; but he feels it is the only way to make everyone live and work happily together, so he goes on lying as cheerfully as an Italian politician.

There is one topic, especially, about which he has a very "creative" approach to truth: his beloved country, Japan. Blackfield loves Japan, hates to have to admit its ugly sides, and always tries to promote "beautiful Japan", the fictional country that exists only in his head. Sadly, I think he has a lot in common with nationalists like Shintarou Ishihara, the racist and ultraconservative governor of Tokyo. Blackfield is not racist; he is actually rather tolerant and interested in foreign countries. But when it comes to Japan, he will always put a spin on the topic at hand, and I never believe anything he has to say on the subject.

Case in point: two weeks ago, we were talking about Sumo, and I asked him "is it true that Sumo is often rigged?"
I knew for a fact that Sumo IS completely corrupted, but I pretended not to know. Anyway, in typical Blackfield fashion he answered "well, I heard some Korean and Chinese wrestlers cheated sometimes, but that's about it..." which is a huge and blatant lie, of course! He knew fully well that most Sumo wrestlers are cheaters, and finally admitted it after I teased him a little. The look of embarrassment on his face was just priceless...

But on to a more interesting topic: Blackfield and women. As you can guess, they go together like blue cheese and mango ice-cream; still I am sure women are very much on his mind. But he would rather eat a live cockroach than talk to a woman he doesn't know! Actually, there's something of "The 40-Year Old Virgin" about him: you know, that guy who "respects women too much to desire them"? That's Blackfield.
The sad thing is, I think he would be the best husband ever: devoted, loyal, kind, interesting, funny... He is not really suitable for anyone, but the strong woman with a powerful grip who gets him will never regret it. To that special lady, I recommend: scold him regularly, make him jump through hoops and work hard even for modest rewards, but sometimes acknowledge his efforts with slight praise, and he will forever be by your side.

Yes, as you must have guessed it by now, Blackfield is fundamentally masochistic. Actually, I'm sure there is a gimp outfit under his bed, and his wettest dreams involve some East-German dominatrix spanking him as a punishment for his naughtiness.

So if you know a smart, single woman with a taste for cracking the whip, by all means leave a message! Just one thing though: it would be even better if that woman were also a Star Wars fan like him...

May the Force be with Blackfield!

Sumo

2007-05-18T02:58:00.000-07:00

If all you know about Sumo is that it is a sport about fat men fighting, you might want to check this link. Actually, calling Sumo a sport is a bit misleading: it would be more correct to call it a religious and cultural wrestling tradition. There is a lot of mystique surrounding Sumo; it certainly has to do with the ancientness of its roots, but in that it is similar to many other traditions around the world, from Iceland to Mongolia and India. Sumo is unique in that it emphasizes body mass more than any other wrestling form, but there wouldn't be such a mystique around it if fat wrestlers were Sumo's only claim for fame. My guess is that it is the combination of tradition, outlandishness and physical prowess that keeps people interested in Sumo.

Or does it?

In Japan, interest in Sumo has been waning for years. The Japanese are less and less interested in the traditional aspects of their culture, which they regard as the exclusive domain of old people; and besides, the religious and cultural aspects of Sumo are only rarely emphasized nowadays, which makes most Japanese think of it as "just another sport".

But the really big problem with Sumo is that most of the highest ranking wrestlers have for years been foreigners, and the trend is accelerating. So it is getting harder for the Japanese to consider Sumo as their national sport, and it frustrates many to have to cheer on undistinguished Japanese wrestlers, knowing full well that their countryman will lose to some unwashed foreigner. The Japanese are not "hungry" enough anymore; wrestlers born in Eastern Europe or Asia are more determined and ambitious, and win everything. Or at least that's what many Japanese people say...

At the same time, Sumo is ever more popular in the West - no doubt in part because of the Internet. It used to be very difficult to just see Sumo in the West, but nowadays with sites like YouTube there's nothing easier. And it is true that Sumo is fun and exciting to watch: the ritualized aspect, the exoticism, the agility and craftiness involved in the wrestling itself, and the speed with which a bout is over (generally less than a minute) make for an interesting and intense viewing experience on many levels. Watching a Sumo tournament also seems quite popular with foreign tourists in Japan, and it is definitely an experience I would recommend to someone coming over on holidays...

...If Sumo weren't rigged to the bone, that is. It has been proved several times (most recently in the excellent Freakonomics book, but also in Japanese newspaper articles a few years ago, that many Sumo bouts are fixed. The thing is, most Sumo wrestlers often lose on purpose to help other wrestlers who are having a bad tournament - a favour they know will be repaid the next time they need a little boost...
The fact that cheating is very widespread in Sumo still isn't widely acknowledged in Japan; most Japanese people try to avoid this topic, since it is rather embarassing to admit that this most ancient and noble of Japanese institutions - Sumo - is actually not much cleaner than boxing in New Jersey. But everyone seems aware that there's something rotten in the noble wrestling tradition. And I guess that is also one of the reasons for the decline in interest in Sumo among the Japanese...

So what is in store for Sumo? Unless some new and motivated Japanese wrestlers crop up and the Sumo Federation acknowledges cheating and finds a way to circumvent it, I think Sumo will slowly fade out from the Japanese counsciousness. Too bad, yes; but that's Japan. "Saving face" is more important than solving problems...

4 seasons

2007-05-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

It might sound really strange, but most Japanese people are sure that only Japan has 4 distinct seasons. I never really managed to understand why, or to get a decent explanation; if you have a good theory, I'm eager to hear it!

Anyway, the seasonal cycle is very important to the Japanese; probably much more so than in the West. This, I think, derives from the influence of religion on culture: whereas for the religions of the Book, life and the universe move on a straight line from the Creation to Judgement Day, the Japanese religions both describe life and the universe as parts of a cycle. In Buddhism, everything dies and is reborn forever; and Shinto is an animistic cult of Nature, and as such obviously very concerned with the cycle of the seasons.

This importance of the seasonal cycle is visible in many different things: for example, most restaurants offer distinctly seasonal meals and menus, and place an emphasis on using mainly seasonal ingredients. It is common in the West to find any and all fruits and vegetables all year round, even those normally available for only a short period every year, like strawberries; but I don't think that trend will ever catch up in Japan.

Some foods are particularly strong symbols of each season: thus tangerines and hotpots are associated with winter, strawberries with spring, shaved ice and broiled eel with summer, mushrooms and chestnuts with autumn...

Fashion is also very much a seasonal thing. Japanese women have it especially hard! If they want to keep up with their peers, they have to switch clothes, make-up, accessories, and shoes at least 4 times a year. Jeans all year round won't cut it... But if you enjoy looking at women, Japan is paradise: in spring, skirts get shorter and fresh colours reign; summer has everyone dressed very short and colourful, and many women wear yukata (light cotton kimono) to the festivals and fireworks. In autumn, earthen and natural colours are the norm, and boots are everywhere. It's a very nice season! Winter is a bit duller and there is no fixed fashion, but every year the fashion industry cooks something up; also, women feel freer to wear what they really like in winter, so there is more variety than in other seasons.

Each season also has its distinctive festivals and parties:
Spring has ohanami, very popular parties where people gather in parks to eat, drink, and admire the blossoming cherry trees.
Summer has many fireworks, and of course Obon, one of the most important religious events of the year, in which ancestor spirits come back to Earth for a few days and are honoured during various ceremonies. Obon is also a good occasion to relax for Japanese people: all companies close for a few days, and families can spend some time together, go to the beach, or have a barbecue.
Autumn has momiji, which might be translated as "red leaves parties": people go to the countryside and admire the maple trees in their autumnal colours. Of course, eating and drinking are also part of the fun... In September, the Japanese used to have otsukimi, moon-viewing parties, during which friends would meet in the evening, and drink and make poems in honour of the moon. But nowadays, most people live in big cities where the moon is rarely clearly seen, so that beautiful tradition is rarely heard of anymore.
Winter has only one major event: oshogatu, or New Year's Day. It is the year's most important celebration, a time when almost everyone is on holiday, and when families watch TV together for days on end, go to the local shrine, and eat oseichi ryori, traditional food prepared only during oshogatsu. Some people love that time of the year, some people hate it... Pretty much like Christmas in the West, I guess!

Much more could be said about the four seasons in Japan, but of course the best thing is to come and experience them firsthand! And then you will be able to answer one of the most common questions Japanese people ask, "what is your favourite season?"

Golden week

2007-05-02T03:04:00.000-07:00

This week's post is going to be very short... This being Golden Week, my post has to be submitted by Tuesday instead of the usual Friday, so please don't expect some War and Peace long story...

Talking about war and peace, there has been a lot of talk lately about the new rise of nationalism, negationism and militarism in Japan, with all the sinister implications this could have for world peace.
From my point of view, yes it is true that the far-right is on the rise, and to tell you the truth I don't lose sleep over it. Concretely, I think almost nothing will change.

The thing one should always keep in mind when thinking about Japanese society is that Japan has the world's oldest average population. So yes, there are plenty of old men, recently retired or nearing retirement age, who suddenly have a lot of time on their hands and a lot of nostalgia for olden times, when everything was simple and old men got more respect from society. It is understandable: they have worked their lives off to make Japan a strong and rich country, so now they feel they are due some respect, and they want people to be proud of the Japan they have helped build. I don't really know whether I should feel contempt or pity for those among these old men who turn to the far-right ...

Anyway, those far-right old men are a typical "noisy minority", i.e a relatively minor number of people but with enough coordination and political reach to disproportionately influence policy in their country. Their main objectives are threefold: whitewashing the horrors committed by the Japanese during WW2, restoring patriotism and confucean values, and rewriting the constitution to become a "regular" military nation again (the 1947 constitution, forced on Japan by the Americans, made Japan a pacifist nation largely dependant on America for its protection).

And yes, the far-right will probably manage some minor stuff like whitewashing the history textbooks children study at school, forcing the schools to give a more "patriotic" education to their students, censoring a few things here and there, regaining the right to a true army... But it will make no concrete difference. No-one can efficiently control information anymore, especially on topics like history and in countries where use of the Internet is so widespread. As to young people getting brainwashed by government propaganda, that sounds as preposterous to me as abstinence education having an impact on teenagers' sex life in America. After all, even in a seasoned dictatorship like China, young people are now cynical enough to realise when their government is trying to manipulate them, so in a free country like Japan I doubt "patriotic education" will make much of a ripple.

As to the rise of militarism, I think that's a pure joke. Japan has had one of the lowest fertility rates in the world for decades now; as a result, there are very few young people in Japan nowadays. Actually, there are not enough young people in the marketplace to replace all the seniors who are retiring in droves... And that country would be militarily dangerous? Errr, I think not. The hawkish old men who dream of a new Great Japanese Army just make me snigger. They live in a world that is about as real as that of my co-workers who have dates with their Sailormoon figures... And that says a lot.

So, my two cents? The world has enough real problems. Let's not get all hyped-up over mere fantasies. And enjoy Golden Week!

Politeness

2007-04-27T01:13:00.000-07:00

"I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien..."
Some friends invited me to a karaoke party last week-end, and as usual I sang my favourite Sting song, "An Englishman in New York". I think that song is particularly funny when sung by a foreigner in Japan, but apparently the irony was lost on my friends; still they waited patiently for me to finish so that they could go back to the Morning Musume.

If "manners maketh man" as someone said, then the Japanese are the heroes of the day.

Or are they?

While it is true that the Japanese are probably the most polite and best mannered people on Earth, their attitude towards etiquette is certainly a bit different from Westerners'.
In the West, manners are quite equalitarian: everyone expects more or less the same level of politeness from everyone. Sure, senior citizens and pregnant women get a bit more attention, but basically everyone else has the same rights and duties.
In Japan and other Confucean countries like Korea and China, society is fundamentally unequalitarian. Confucianism is the social doctrine upon which East Asia was built; it is a school of thought that clearly defines each individual's place in society and his/her rights and duties based on age, gender, rank in society, order of birth among siblings... All these clearly define who is "junior" and who is "senior" in any relationship, as well as what behaviour and manner level are appropriate.

In concrete terms, this means that the level of properness you can expect in Japan varies much more considerably than in the West. For example in a public place, a woman in her early 20's has to have impeccable manners to almost everyone; but a male executive in his 40's will think nothing of leisurly picking up his nose in a crowded train (a common and thoroughly disgusting feature of commuting in Japan, unfortunately). But a lot also depends on context: if a punk teenage girl goes shopping to a department store (also a common occurence), she is a customer and behaves as such: she isn't required to show any deference to the sales attendants, whereas all said store attendants have to show her the utmost respect - even men who could be her grandfather. That always cracks me up!

Another important factor determining how politely a Japanese person will behave is how close he/she is to the other person. The uchi/soto paradigm has the Japanese behave very formally with people from outside their circle or in public settings (soto), but with little restraint when with people from their group (uchi). Since most foreigners only see the Japanese in soto situations, the cliche of the Japanese as always polite has become deeply ingrained in the West; but actually, the Japanese can be very harsh and rude to each other when no "outsider" is watching.

If you are a foreigner travelling in Japan though, fear none; unless you do something really stupid, everyone will be exceedingly polite to you; and there is even a good chance that someone will behave warmly to you eventhough you're soto, just because they're glad to see a foreigner showing interest in their country.

There is also a good chance that at some point during your trip, you will get to know the feeling of being a "legal alien"...

Island Country

2007-04-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

"Why are the Japanese so bad at English? After all the time they spend studying it at school..."
"Why does Japan keep slaughtering whales to eat them? No-one even thinks they taste good!"
"Why are immigrants to Japan for 3 or 4 generations still considered foreigners by the Japanese?"

There are many such questions, baffling newcomers to Japan and embarrassing the Japanese. They are also difficult questions with no objective answer; and the Japanese hate potentially controversial topics, so in that kind of situation they generally try to dodge the question with some general comment. Notably, when the question is about Japan, they will often answer with "Well you know, we're an island country, so our culture is different..."

That answer always cracks me up. I know many island countries - Madagascar, Indonesia, the UK and Ireland, Sri Lanka, Iceland, to name a few - and I can't really think of any where island status would be used so widely to justify any and everything considered strange by foreigners. But here in Japan, conventional wisdom has it that the sea has always shielded the Japanese from the rest of the world, and that as a result they are a perfectly homogeneous and distinct people. Yes, they would tell you, Japan has received a lot of its culture and technology from other countries, but these are eventually always adapted in a way that makes them uniquely Japanese.

These arguments makes sense, and fit well with reality, but I think they are slightly flawed. Because Korea has exactly the same mindset: pride in its homogeneity and independance, and an awareness that despite all the influences from more powerful countries, the Koreans have their own unique mentality, culture, and way of doing things.
And as far as I know, Korea is not an island.

But Korea and Japan have one thing in common: a long period of isolationism under authoritarian leaders from the early 17th Century to the second half of the 19th Century. In both cases, communication with the outside world became limited to some commerce with China and the West, but was accompanied by almost no exchange of ideas or technology. The result was that both countries acquired a very strong sense of self, developped a more personal culture, and came to unconsciously divide everything into "local" or "imported" categories.

This last point is, at least in Japan, at the root of the widespread tendency to fiddle with and tweak any new import to make it more "Japanese". This sometimes results in better products, especially in the technology field; but quite often, "japanizing" an idea or concept makes it completely lose its soul and turns it into an empty shell. The legal system is a good example: theoretically, it works as in the West, but the Japanese police have the right to detain and interrogate suspects for long periods. This very generally results in the suspects "confessing" their crime, and at the end of the day the conviction rate is a very impressive 99%. Up there with Belarus and Zimbabwe!

Still, the question remains: why do the Japanese explain everything by their island status, and not their history? Well, because it is more convenient, of course! The Japanese don't like to talk about history as it can be a very contentious topic, the kind of talk that might lead to quarrel and disharmony in the group. On the other hand, geography is not something people can disagree on, so invoking it is a perfect way to dodge potential trouble...

So the right thing to do next time a Japanese person serves you that "island country" half-truth to answer your curiosity? Smile politely, say "Thank you for that wonderful explanation!" and ask Wikipedia, of course!

Six years

2007-04-13T03:31:00.000-07:00

Japan is well known as a land of faddists, a country where people are as quick to adopt new fashions en masse - as to discard them. There are many reasons for this: strong social pressure to conform to one's group's trends, massive and constant media bombardment, and a general lack of self-confidence among Japanese people. At least that is the theory; but I thought it would be funny to show some of the fads that have swept Japan in the six years I've been here. Enjoy...

-FOOD: the Japanese are notoriously obsessed with food, and 85% of all TV programmes are devoted to the topic, so it should come as no surprise to hear that following food fads is a major part of life in Japan. When I arrived in 2000, Korean food was all the rage: simple, cheap, healthy, it was a welcome change from the French and Italian trends that had fattened the Japanese (and flattened their wallets) for years previously. Nowadays, there is no dominant trend, but many "mini-booms" have come and gone during the last few years. Roll cakes are on the way out (finally!), the mango boom last year went bust very quickly, Spanish raw ham has kicked Italian raw ham out of the shelves and seems here to stay. Shochu (a Japanese spirit) has seen an incredible renaissance some 3 years ago, but has now stabilised. Happoshu, a cheap ersatz of beer that (supposedly) tastes like the real thing and has a lower alcohol content, also seems to have become a staple. "Galettes", those buckwheat pancakes from Brittany, seem like they might be the next big thing, but it is too early to say.

Anyway, the real good news is... Bitter chocolate seems to be winning the war against Hershey's! The Japanese learned chocolate from the Americans after WW2, and that is very unfortunate considering how low-level chocolate in America is. But the Japanese have finally realized that Belgium and Switzerland are the real references when it comes to chocolate, and as a result more of the good European stuff is invading the market. Which is why you can now find 80% cocoa chocolate anywhere at reasonable prices... Let's pray it lasts!

-ENTERTAINMENT: you want the good news first? The Morning Musume are on the way out! Music lovers rejoice!
Hamasaki Ayumi has also been taking a back step; and I think it was high time she did. After years of seeing her huge frog eyes glaring at me from every magazine cover and advertising space in Japan, I'm glad she is taking a break. Actually, I'm especially glad considering NAKAMA YUKIE has replaced her as the most popular model in the archipelago, and I am really a huge fan! Big thanks to AU (a cell phone company) and JR (the main train company) for covering the city with posters of her lovely smile.

Japanese children seem to have got fed up with Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Crayon Shin Chan, and Beyblade. These were all very popular anime, but it looks like they're gone. I have no idea what is replacing them though.

In other news, the Korean Wave has also finally receded. For a few years Korean food, singers, TV series, movies, and models were all the rage; I felt those years coincided with a short period of time when the Japanese felt more Asian than usual (many Japanese don't really consider themselves Asian, just "Japanese"), and felt more kinship with their neighbours in Korea and China. At least younger people did... But the Japanese population has the oldest average age in the world, and the political and economic rise of China is felt as deeply threatening; these two factors have translated into more and more political success for nationalist politicians, which in turn translated in recent years into a much more aggressive and strident attitude towards China and Korea. Relations deteriorated quickly, and interest for Korea and China also went down. And now Japan is back to its schizophrenic attitude of ignoring its Asian-ness and looking for its identity in the West... Thus "24" has replaced "Winter Sonata", Cameron Diaz has shown Zhang Zi Yi the door, and New York-style yoga and Pilates have kicked Feng Shui back to obscurity.

This latter development is quite interesting: through yoga, a lot of interest for India has arisen in Japan recently. India is seen as a land of great spirituality and culture, and the fact that Buddhism originated there also creates a link between the two countries. I have a feeling India will be the "next big thing" here in Japan, but I doubt it will last very long. The Japanese will come to realize how fundamentally different the two countries are, and how hard it is to glamourise India. Pretty much as happened in the West 30 years ago...

MISCELLANEOUS: the "French maids" have finally got their letters of recognition.
The Nintendo DS is everywhere. I guess you're not too surprised...
"IQ Training Games" have also been very popular for the last few years, as senior citizens started panicking about losing their marbles unless they exercised their brains 14 hours a day. Interest for such games then trickled down to the general population and combined with the worldwide Sudoku craze to create a widespread addiction to math games, logical puzzles, and obscure kanji (Chinese characters) tests. I still prefer reading a good book, but that's just me!
The one really big thing to have come out in the last few years, though, is Mixi. The Japanese equivalent of MySpace, it has picked more than 8 million members in 3 years; it's only a small part of the total Japanese population (128 million) but 80% of Mixi members are in their 20's or 30's, which makes them a sizable chunk of the young population. Sadly, it's yet another trend that encourages people to live in virtual reality... Encouragement the Japanese didn't really need, but anyway.

And finally a short "wishes" section: there are a few things I always wish would become fashionable in Japan. Praline and pistachio cakes, ice-creams and desserts are delicious, and a staple in France and Italy; and considering how much the Japanese love these 2 countries, I am very surprised no-one has tried to convert Japan yet. Pistachio ice-cream yum yum...

Real pizza: you know, the ones from Italy with a thin crust? They are still largely unknown in Japan, since the country unfortunately got its pizza culture from America. What a shame.

But of course, the one thing I really hope will someday be fashionable again is kimono... There was a micro-revival 2 years ago, but it didn't hold up. When will Japanese women finally realise how good they look in kimono?

Well, I guess I'll have to make do with mini-skirts.

Couples

2007-04-05T22:05:00.000-07:00

QUESTION: What do the Japanese mean when they compare women to Christmas cakes?
ANSWER: After the 25th, no-one wants to buy them anymore.
It is an old joke so the figures have changed, but the basic idea remains: women have to get married when they're still young (traditionally before they turn 25), otherwise they'll be impossible to "sell".
And why do you think Japanese men work so hard? Why, in order to be able to "buy" a good partner, of course!

OK, so things might not be that extreme anymore, but the basic idea is as strong as ever. Founding a stable family in which to bring up a few kids is the raison d'etre of most Japanese; well actually of most humans, I guess. But in Japan, the emphasis on "stable" is especially strong. Whereas in the West love is considered the only healthy basis for a couple and a family, in Japan such feeling-based relationships are traditionally viewed with a lot of suspicion. Feelings come and go, older Japanese would say, and do you really want to build a family on such a fleeting thing as love? Surely it's better to choose a partner who shares your values regarding family, whom you can rely on to make the kids interests come first, and who seems stable enough not to change their mind midway. In other words, mutual respect is safer than love in a couple.

Does that make a couple happy? Probably not, but then again happiness isn't what most people get married for. Breeding healthy and succesful children is what it's all about, and a "reasonable" marriage is the best way to create a conducive environment. Also note that most "love marriages" quickly devolve into very homely relationships: in Japan, older couples still based on love or affection are considered slightly weird, something like "childish cute". I remember a group of my friends coming back from holidays in Dubai, and talking about an older Western couple they had seen holding hands. One of the girls said "That's so great!" but all the others said things like "That's too weird!" or "How can they not feel embarrassed?" Actually, I think many Japanese (especially women) secretly envy that kind of relationship, but they don't know how to foster it or they just think it's impossible. But more on that later.

Which doesn't mean there is no romance after marriage in Japan; it's just that it rarely happens inside the couple...

For the reasonably attractive Japanese businessman especially, affairs are not too hard to organize: the abundance of unmarried junior female staff in Japanese companies and frequent absences for business reasons give them plenty of opportunities for extra-marital fun. Company drinking parties are also very common, and the free-flowing booze always helps break down the inhibitions of both men and women; it's not pretty, but it often works. Note, however, that drunk and horny Japanese businessmen who can't find a date tend to be quite repulsive. Take the train around 11 PM in Japan and you will see what I mean... But the really sad thing is, I don't think having affairs with the temp staff at the office makes men happy. It just offers them a glimpse of what they have missed, but in the end it's just rubbing salt on the wound.

Married women, on the other hand, rarely have many chances to find romance (even short ones), especially the ones with children and/or who don't work. A bit of fun with the mailman can never be written off, of course; but in general married women have lots of free time on their hands, that they spend bitterly reflecting on the affective wasteland their life is. The response to this distressful situation is usually a combination of the following: shopping addiction, domestic alcoholism, grumbling sessions with other married women, the occasional affair, and the transfer of all their frustrated affection on their sons. The latter is, I think, one of the major problems in Japan: the mother / son relationship is way too strong, which stunts the emotional development of boys, and later makes it much harder for them to relate normally to women. So when (and if) they get married, they won't know how to make their wives happy... Lather, rinse and repeat: this vicious circle has been perpetuating itself for at least 50 years, and I personally don't see what can break it.

As to life between the sheets, it is easy to guess how miserable it is.
Combine long working hours and commute, the fact that many couples are not based on mutual attraction, and a big lack of communication (talking about sex is traditionally considered vulgar in Japan), and you get The Sexless Problem. Alarming numbers of Japanese couples never or almost never have sex, and this has come to be recognized as a national issue, especially considering Japan has one of the lowest natality rates in the world. So plenty of TV programmes, magazine articles, and websites get devoted to the issue, with little to no result. The problem is much too deep...

Because, let's face it, the Japanese model doesn't work anymore. The divorce rate is in the average for developped countries (one divorce every two minutes in Japan...), so all this "stability over happiness" talk makes no sense. It might have worked in a society where personal happiness was not a factor and where women didn't expect equality in the couple, for example Japan before WW2. But those days are over. No one want to sacrifice their dreams and happiness for the group anymore, and most people realise a couple needs to be based on communication and real attraction. Unfortunately, communicating their feelings and expressing their real personality is what the Japanese are the weakest at; and making the efforts necessary to keep oneself attractive to one's spouse is also something that feels too awkward for most Japanese.

The sad thing is, eventhough everyone knows their couple life doesn't work, it only makes them more frustrated to realise the problem and be unable to solve it. The default attitude, of course, is to bite the bullet and live the same life as their parents...

What a waste.

Japanese cinema

2007-03-30T01:10:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: I really love Japan. I have the utmost respect for Japanese culture.

However, I think Japanese cinema STINKS. Note that I'm not talking about Japanese animated movies, just regular films. Let me count the ways in which Japanese cinema is an insult to Japanese people's intelligence:

-No originality: except for some fringe movies, most Japanese films are one-patterned tear-jerkers. You know, the kind where noble characters are faced with overwhelming adversity, but keep displaying the same moving purity of heart whatever the circumstances. You know, the kind that would be in the "young adult" section of a bookshop...

The popular genres are some of the classics from Hollywood: romantic comedies, disaster movies, all kinds of cop stories, start-low-become-a-champion movies... Notably absent from the list are legal movies; but with a notoriously arbitrary judicial system and a 99% conviction rate, what interesting movies can you make?
Instead, Japan gives us the awkward families-in-the-storm genre, where Something Truly Terrible tests the unity of a happy family, pushing it to the edge of rupture until in some unlikely twist of fate, love triumphs and harmony is restored. Something like Ozu remixed by Disney, if you can picture that.

In Japanese cinema, the characters are also an exercise in predictable phoniness: a succession of trite archetypes, such as The Idealistic Little Kid With A Dream (typical line: "Don't worry Mummy, I'll win the Junior Whatever Championship to cheer up Daddy from his sickness"), The Loving Wife / Mother Who Always Gives Good Advice (typical line: "Just put all your heart into baking him a chocolate cake and he will love you forever in return"), The Gruff But Golden-Hearted Husband / Father (typical line: "I thought about you two every day. [5 minutes pause] Little Taro has grown into a real man, hasn't he?").

Note that the originality problem has only gotten worse since the Korean Drama wave hit Japan a few years ago. Producers then realized that schmaltzy sentimentality and Confucian values could sell heaps. A perfect opportunity not to take risks making original movies? Sign us in!, they quickly said.
Well, at least that stopped them for a while from "adapting" perfectly respectable Japanese books / manga and bastardazing them into bland borefests. Yeay.

--Terrible acting: not that the Japanese are naturally poor actors, but overacting is a tradition dating back hundreds of years to Kabuki (Japanese theatre/opera), where strongly expressed emotions are the norm. Also note that Akira Kurosawa, the legendary Japanese director, specifically instructed his actors to act in a restrained and natural way, because his main influence was American cinema. As a result, the acting in Kurosawa movies is very good, which proves (if need be) that the filmmakers are the problem, not the actors.

The problem is made worse by the incestuous nature of the entertainment world in Japan. Pop music, advertising, modelling, television and cinema are about as inbred as the Japanese Imperial Family, which should come as no surprise considering these industries are all controlled by the same small group of people. So if it gets decided that young model X needs more coverage to promote his/her budding singing career, he/she will be plopped into some random movie being made at the time, regardless of whether he/she can actually act or even just looks the part; and bingo! (Or not)

Example: the excellent novel "69" by Murakami Ryu was adapted to the big screen a few years ago. The main characters are two 17 year-old boys; so it made perfect sense to cast a 24 year-old and a 29 year-old in their roles... I personally think the 24 year-old should never had left the TV series he was playing in, but who cares about acting in Japanese cinema?

The thing is, it just doesn't really matter: the advertising campaign will be such that people will watch it anyway. The bottom line is that in the end TV recycles it all; they always need new faces to make up for the terrible lack of innovation in their programming. But that is another story.

--Absolute political correctness: the Japanese generally don't like to talk about the problems and issues of society (that would, you know, disrupt the group harmony), but Japanese cinema takes this attitude to the extreme. The focus on "normal and respectable" families helps to keep the illusion of a prefectly homogeneous society; the kind where for example racial problems, gender / homosexuality issues or mental disorders simply do not exist. Which has a lot in common with America in the 50's brainwashing itself into believing it was Heaven on Earth, and is just about as true.

The real problems of Japan - the lack of communication between genders, massive reality escapism, inability to accept the past, for example - are about as common in Japanese cinema as sodomy in Walt Disney animated movies; and even when these problems feature in a Japanese film (generally a rip-off of a popular manga), they are introduced in such a sanitized form that they lose all meaning. Densha Otoko ("Train Man" in English) is a prime example of this syndrome: the original story (in manga form) is very meaningful, but in the movie version the main issues get diluted in a schmaltzfest of everyone changing for the best and feeling happy about themselves. To save the people from thinking too much, I guess...

That said, there is some independant cinema in Japan, but it is very difficult for it to survive in a society where a small cartel of people have a near-monopoly on mass media. This state of affairs leads to independant filmmakers being known and respected abroad but completely ignored at home, a situation they have the bitter joy of sharing with independant musicians. And that's a real shame: considering how much creativity is expressed in the design, animation and manga fields for example, there is no reason to believe Japanese cinema (and music) couldn't be just as great. A sad waste of creativity indeed.

But at least, the Wa (group harmony) is preserved.

Entertainers 2

2007-03-16T02:42:00.000-07:00

First of all, sorry there was no post last week. I had to go to France for 10 days; and while I would love to tell you about it, I'm not good enough at sarcasm to accurately describe what a lovely country it is. Let's just say one thing: if I have to choose between flying Air France and Aeroflot in the future, I'll go with Aeroflot. I doubt the service will be any worse, but at least the flight attendants will probably be younger.

But I digress. Last post was about hostesses and geisha, but this one is about the lowest form of life in Japan: hosts. Hosts are attractive young men with very few inhibitions, who make a living by entertaining women in overpriced bars or clubs. Well, not all hosts are attractive, but they all certainly try very hard to be. In fact, you can recognize a host at a glance anywhere in Japan: they are all very sun-tanned, with longish hair dyed in flamboyant colours and arranged in elaborate hairdos. They wear extravagant dark suits with equally outlandish white shirts. Sunglasses are common even at 2 AM. They also follow fashion fanatically: if, for example, a men's fashion magazine announces leather neckties to be the next big hit, it will be no time until the hosts are all strutting around in leather neckties. Of course, regular joes quickly stop wearing leather neckties for fear of looking like lowlife street scum hosts, so the leather tie fashion ends up short-lived after all. By then though, the hosts will have already moved on to the next big thing.

From an evolutionary point of view, it is actually quite fascinating to see these young humans follow the way of the peacock: considering that their species' females prefer a certain narrow set of attributes (colourful tails for peahens, dark suits, neckties and white shirts for women), but confronted by the need to stand out among their peers, the males are locked in an evolutionary race to appear ever more flamboyant even though their choice of accessories is pretty limited. Of course, common sense and convenience are the first things to get the boot. That is true for hosts as it is for other men, but strong intra-group competition makes the changes occur faster and more visibly in the host population, while making them appear ever more different from men outside their group, i.e. regular joes. But women don't like men who look too outlandish... It is a difficult balance to find for the hosts. Poor things!

The life of a host is divided in 2 parts: evening and late night. In the evening, they cluster up in busy areas like shopping arcades or major train stations, and approach young women walking alone or in small groups with cheesy pick-up lines. If they are lucky, the girls will follow them to a bar, where they will be entertained and (generally) tricked into blowing their monthly salary in overpriced bottles of Champagne. Of course, most Japanese know what to expect from hosts and would never even acknowledge the vile creatures; but just like the spammers who fill your inbox with junk everyday, the hosts play the statistics. Sooner or later, some girl who will be lonely / desperate / naive enough to listen to their promises of good time. And given the concentration of people in Japanese cities and the loneliness inherent to urban life, the hosts know they just need to be patient and persistent.

Naturally, in a country where manners and a strong work ethic are paramount, that kind of shameless lifestyle is considered supremely disgraceful, and there is much contempt for hosts. Yet many people do enjoy the sort of controlled relationships money can buy, and it is not uncommon to see groups of women, married or not, young or not, buying an evening of laughter, booze and karaoke with handsome young men. That's gender equality for you! They are doing exactly the same thing as the men who visit hostesses. I personally think it's pretty cool Japanese women have such freedoms...

Anyway, that makes for the bulk of a host's evening, but the late nights are spent with another kind of customer: hostesses. As it turns out, after an evening of drinking and pampering older men, many hostesses want to finish the night drinking and being pampered by younger men. Actually, it makes good sense. Hostesses have a high level of disposable income, stressful job conditions, and few opportunities to party, considering they work most evenings. Besides, though their status is miles higher than the hosts', it is often quite difficult for a hostess to date regular people; so for most, the choice is between dating their customers or their fellow hosts. And since the hosts face much the same problems, it is really a marriage made in Heaven: compatible working hours, absence of professional prejudice, and generally rather similar profiles mean there is much going for such couples. I am not sure they make for very conventional relationships, but maybe that's just as well!

You might be wondering if I have ever considered trying that line of work, and I would answer honestly if my mother wasn't reading this column. So all I can say is: me, getting paid to chat and party with beautiful women? Why would I ever want to live such a life?

Entertainers

2007-03-06T21:08:00.001-08:00

The place where I live and work, Shinsaibashi, is really great. Smack in the centre of the city, it is one of the best places in Osaka for shopping, eating out, having a drink, clubbing, and... Some other forms of entertainment too. Namely, host and hostess clubs by the dozen.

Now most foreigners think of hostesses as prostitutes, but that is a mistake. Since ancient times, the sex industry and the entertainment industry have been quite clearly separated in Japan. While prostitution has always been flourishing, it generally does not appeal to the same people who want to meet hosts, hostesses and geisha. Broadly speaking, hosts and hostesses work in clubs where they entertain members of the opposite sex, listen to their stories, make them drink and relax, and try to make them want to come back. Creating a strong personal relationship with a customer is financially rewarding, as a big part of the hosts and hostesses' salary comes from the bonus they get if they are succesful and popular. Close relationships with customers also open the door to invitations to the restaurant, lavish presents, and in general after some time suggestions to take things one level higher. It is a tight rope to walk for the entertainer who wants to get presents and money while protecting his or her private life, but there lies the true skill.

Gokon

2007-02-23T02:47:00.000-08:00

Me and my workmates are a sad bunch. There's 4 of us, and we're all single. I'm pretty sure it's because we're dirt poor (the boss pays us like North Korean shoeshiners) and Japanese women are only interested in AmEx Platinum Card holders. No better proof of this theory than the fact our boss is getting married this year, whereas us nebbish just laugh nervously whenever the conversation comes to Valentine's Day.

I was gloomily thinking about how many years I would have to work before I could get a Platinum Card (about 92, by the way) when it struck me: there was a way. We were not going to go down that easily. We were going to fight for the preservation of our DNA. We were going to have a gokon.

Gokon is something like "group blind dating". Two friends of the opposite gender decide on a date and a place, as well as the number of people in each team. Then they both invite a few people of their gender, making sure the numbers in each group are balanced. On the selected date, everyone meets at the restaurant the team leaders have picked, and you guess the rest: everyone introduces themselves shyly, and then they drink, eat, drink some more, lose their inhibitions, make fools of themselves, but still somehow make friends in the process. After that, if all went well, the party continues at a bar or karaoke. Everyone drinks even more, and phone numbers are exchanged; the really lucky chaps don't go home alone but spend the night at a love hotel with one of their new acquaintances, and become their team mates' hero.

Case in point (or not): my own gokon experience, 5 years ago, when I was still a young and innocent English teacher. There were 6 of us in the men's team. I had never met our team leader, but I had been persuaded to go by a friend of mine, an older guy with a wife and 2 kids. I pointed out that I was not single, and he even less; he just shrugged and said "Blah, just have fun, right?". I wasn't convinced, but out of curiosity I accepted. You guess the rest: I was the youngest and probably the only unmarried member of the team. My team mates were all balding middle-aged men with receding hairlines, and that unique smell of rank tobacco that accompanies older Japanese men wherever they go. Fine, fine. I got the picture: I was the "gaijin monkey" who would add a touch of exoticism into the charisma-impaired men's team. How pleasant.

We got to the restaurant early, whereas the girls' team was more than fashionably late. It gave everyone time to remove their wedding rings and gauge the competition; I just smiled demurely and pretended I didn't speak much Japanese. After all, both Sun Tzu and Machiavel agree that lulling your enemies into a false sense of security is the best way to defeat them... And this young Jedi listens to his masters. Anyway, they quickly lost interest in me, which was just fine.

Finally, the girls arrived; they looked rather young and nice, though their smile broke the moment they entered the room and saw our team. I got seated between two women in their 20's, one of whom was A REAL BABE!!! I thought to myself: "What would Bill Clinton do in this situation??", but before I could find the answer to this very difficult question drinks were brought and the self-introductions started. Everyone was a bit shy in the beginning, but things kicked off after a few "Kampai!". The girls next to me seemed delighted not to have to talk with the older chums, and especially the va-va-voom little morsel to my left seemed to really dig me (which was well reciprocated). The conversation was very pleasant, until the foxy lady asked me with a shy smile, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

And

I

Said

"Yes".

Her face froze and she turned away. Now, no need to tell me I'm stupid; I know that already. Stupid and principled is still stupid...
Around us, things had already started to disintegrate. A few beers were enough to make the old men throw dignity overboard. Their jokes got more and more vulgar as they tried to sound wittier than the others while letting the girls know they had lots of money, a huge penis and the will to use it soon. Embarassing doesn't even begin to cover the situation, really. At some point it got so bad that the babe to my left uneasily started to make conversation again, just to escape the old men. It was awkward.

Unsurprisingly, after dinner was over, there was no karaoke, no love hotel, and no smile left on the girls' face. I was left to wonder how there were not more lesbians in Japan. A sad evening indeed.

To rub salt on the wound, 3 months later I had split with my girlfriend. I so should have listened to my inner Bill Clinton and answered "No"... Oh the regrets, the regrets!

So why do I want to have a gokon with my workmates? An optimistic nature, I guess. The feeling that with better team mates, a gokon could be really fun, and definitely more constructive than looking for single girls on the Internet. My workmates, however, didn't seem to think so. They just looked at me blankly, puzzled by the concept of meeting real women in real life. Finally one of them mumbled, "huh, difficult...".
Well, fair enough. Come to think of it, their idea of a perfect date probably involves Sailor Moon figures and lots of tissues, so do really I want to go to a gokon with these geeks?

Conclusion: I really need to make more money (><)

Wedding, schmedding 2

2007-02-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

We finally got to sit down at the lunch table, in a huge ballroom, at what felt like time for dinner. But first, a movie about the bride and groom's love story was projected, and I have to say it was quite cool. Funny and romantic, but not too much: just fine. And during the movie, they brought us bread! But before we could wolf it, the bride and groom made their entrance, strutted around for a few minutes, and we were summoned to see them cut the wedding cake. It was only slightly more interesting than watching paint dry, but everyone was clapping, cheering and taking pictures. Have I turned into the Grinch or what?, I thought to myself. Anyway, after the ordeal was over, we got to get back to our seats, and Champagne was served. That I can do with!

So we toasted, and I was starting to ogle my bread when the first of about 70 speeches began. So I glumly sipped my bubbly while the groom's father revealed us the secrets of a succesful marriage (never contest your wife), gloated about his son, and generally tried hard to be funny. Not a great speech, but still almost Churchillian compared to what was to follow: the bride's 6th Grade teacher's speech. The absolute low point of the day, it was something like "she was so cute, and she was a good swimmer, and she was always smiling, and everybody liked her, and she was kind to everyone, and she was a very good girl, and..." I started to feel my eyes glaze around the 18th minute of his speech, but fortunately a pair of security guards physically removed him from the mike.

No, sadly that's just a joke.

When he was done though, food was served and we got a brief respite from speech hell. Everyone was so hungry that the entrees were inhaled more than eaten, and the bread wasn't long to follow. The next hour or so is a blur of insignificant speeches, tiny servings of French food on huge plates, cheap French table wine, and polite clapping. The only thing that stands out in my memory is a videobiography of the bride and groom, which once again was very well done. Anyway, everyone started to relax once they had had some food, and I could finally chat a bit with the people at my table. They were nice, but once dessert was over I felt their attention slipping from the conversation: something big was coming, and my spidey senses told me that it involved large servings of schmaltz. And indeed... It was time for the Tear-Jerker Speech.

The Tear-Jerker Speech is the last speech of a wedding, and is made by the bride. It always goes the same way: "Dear Mother, sniffle, dear Father, sniffle sniffle, thanks for taking such, sniffle, good care of me until now, sniffle, I will never forget everything you did for me, sniffle, blah blah blah". As my friends say, "if the guests are not crying during a Tear-Jerker Speech, then it wasn't a good speech". From that point of view, it was a great speech; but as for myself, I almost puked. Fortunately, it was all over a few minutes later; I ran home and watched Kill Bill 1&2 just to wash away that horrible experience. Thanks Quentin, you saved my day.

It might sound strange, but my boss's wedding, next Autumn, I quite look forward to. In a tuxedo, he will look like the cutest little penguin ever. I can't wait.

Wedding, schmedding

2007-02-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm getting old: over the last few years, my friends have been getting married left and right, having kids, investing in real estate... And asking me when I'll be doing the same. When I feel snide I tell them they should be happy I'm still single, since that means I'll have time for them when they're recovering from their divorce. They just laugh in a carefree sort of way that makes me feel that actually, we're still young.

But anyway. Last Sunday, I went to a friend's wedding, at the Ritz-Carlton here in Osaka. Although I'm almost 30, it was the first time I attended a wedding, and I was a little nervous: this being Japan, there's bound to be rules I don't know, faux-pas to be made, and polite speech expressions I had never heard before. But relax, I told myself, you've made a fool of yourself many times before in this country, one more time won't kill you. My friends also did their best to reassure me, the general advice being "go with the flow, and everything will be fine!"

I got there early in my nicest suit and tried to smile to everyone, eventhough I only knew three people out of the 120 guests: the bride, her sister, and the sister's two-years-old kid. The kid started crying the moment he saw me, but that didn't faze me. Being gawked at by most guests didn't faze me either. After six years in Japan, you get fairly thick-skinned! So I just smiled, looked at the beautiful kimonos and party dresses, and waited for things to kick off.

Finally, sometime before 11:00, we went to the chapel, and the show began. Some blond dude was playing the priest with only the slightest hint of embarassment, but it took all my self-control to keep a straight face when that faux priest started marrying the non-Christian bride and groom. Around me, the bride's friends were crying softly at the beauty of the moment. Needing to cool down, I tried to think of something horrible, and the first thing that came to my mind was George W Bush. It did cool me down... Until I started remembering some bushisms ("they misunderestimated me!"), and it was back to square one. Fortunately, it was time to read psalms, which I had never done before; concentrating on the archaic Japanese the psalms were written into took my mind off the comedy that was taking place onstage. Then the bride and groom exchanged rings and kissed. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, because that meant we were going to have lunch soon!

Boy was I wrong. After the schmaltzy chapel show, we had an open air photo session, a throwing-rose-petals-at-the-bride-and-groom session, an indoor photo session (I skipped that one), and then a short break to get a drink. It was actually so short that by the time I got my liquor we were already being summoned to the next stage. I guzzled it quickly, and well right was I! The next step was to line up for 15 minutes to sign our names in the wedding register. It wasn't that bad; I finally got to chitchat a bit and got introduced to a few nice people.

And then... Will our hero finally get lunch? The answer next week!

Blood Types

2007-01-25T21:01:00.000-08:00

If you are thinking of coming to Japan and making Japanese friends, make sure you know your blood type.

This sentence doesn't make sense to you? Welcome to Japan.

According to the Japanese Theory Of Blood Types, your personality is largely determined by your blood type. The theory comes from a Nazi scientist of the 30's who wanted to prove that some blood types (notably B) were sure indicators of shiftiness and antisocial behaviour, whereas some other blood types (notably A) indicated group spirit, respect for the law and what else. No cookies for guessing which blood types are common in the Germanic and Jewish populations...

Anyway, the theory has been popular - with ups and downs - in Japan ever since. Which is quite funny considering the Japanese have a high ratio of "bad" to "good" blood types compared to, for example, Caucasians.

But enough of this, I guess you want to know which personality traits are associated with each blood type, right?

Blood type A people are nervous perfectionists, law-abiding and working well in groups. They have a "perfect employee and good citizen" image, but are also associated with what Westerners call an anal-retentive personality, and as such are sometimes regarded as "not fun".

Blood type B is the much-maligned "my way" blood type, self-centered and irresponsible, following its impulses and feelings regardless of the consequences. In other words, everything Japanese people traditionally hate... Younger people tend to have a better image of that blood type though, and are more likely to consider blood type B people "fun to be with".

Blood type AB is quite mysterious: it has characteristics of both A and B, and as such is kind of equated with split personality. Blood type AB people are supposedly unpredictable and constantly shifting between poise and very emotional states, which makes them hard to cope with for non-AB people. On the up side, they are supposedly more empathic than average, and there is also a certain mystique around the AB bloodtype since it is quite uncommon. Not a very popular bloodtype though...

Blood type O people, on the other hand, are described as sometimes a bit childish, but very social, outgoing, and self confident: in other words, "born leaders". One of the popular blood types in Japan!

Wikipedia has a slightly different description of the personalities associated with blood types here

And now for the fun part: bashing the theory to pieces! It shouldn't be necessary to explain that human beings have more than 4 kinds of personalities, but some demonstrations are too funny to pass up...

Consider, for example, Native South Americans. They all have the blood type O exclusively. So theirs would be a whole society of cheerful leaders, but without dedicated workers or strongly sentimental people... That would make for some fun sociology, but unfortunately ethnologues do not report any notable differences in the personality structures of Native South Americans as compared to other human groups. A shame, really! That would beat science-fiction.

It is also fun to compare the distribution of blood types around the world, and check if the results fit your travelling experiences. For example, the blood type "B" is shared by 22% of Japanese people but only 7% of the French. Hilarious! The Japanese would be 3 times more likely to be moody and irrational than the French! Who would have thought...

I could go on and on, but that would be overkill.

So why do the Japanese cling so hard to that weird belief? Well, for the same reason that astrology is still around in the West I suppose: because superstitions (and, cynics would say, religions) are deeply reassuring. An imperfect theory to understand the world or people around you is still better than no theory at all.

But I think the main reason why this funny theory is so popular in Japan is that the Japanese media do everything to protect it and make it thrive. A TV programme that cleverly "proves" the theory to be right (through hidden cameras filming "unsuspecting subjects" behaving "naturally" in different circumstances for example) is sure to get a good rating. As you can guess, such programmes are one of the staples of Japanese TV. Who would be stupid enough to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs?

As a result, Japanese people - who traditionally trust their media - are repeatedly assured that the theory works, and thus come to regard any demonstration of the opposite as some kind of sophistry. I have personally come to the conclusion that you can't win against Japanese TV, and so nowadays I just go with the flow. Not every cause is worth fighting for...

But the really funny thing is, there is another bloodtype. A very small proportion of ethnic Africans have the blood type U. I'd really like to know what kind of people they are...

Love Hotels 2

2007-01-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

The love hotel industry has been flourishing in Japan for at least 30 years; but as the market reached saturation, sometime during the Eighties, competition for the horny couple got much more intense. As usual though, competition has profited the customer, and there has never been a better time to take that special someone to a love hotel.

But concretely, what did the love hotel industry do to woo more customers?

The obvious first thing they did was to increase the quality of the service and the rooms available to the customers. One day when my favourite haunts were all full, I had to go to one of these old love hotels from the 80's; well it was very clean (as usual in Japan), but it felt pretty much like a regular hotel from the 80's with a new big-screen TV. None of the nifty gadgets I had grown used to: no sex-toy vending machines, no Karaoke set, no Playstation, no slot machines or tanning beds, no Jacuzzi bath...
Surprisingly, we managed to have fun anyway.

But the main revolution in the love hotel industry was the introduction of the theme room. To get an edge on the competition, hotels began to create rooms catering for particular sexual fantasies (the office, S&M dungeons, cars, classrooms, commuter trains...) as well as "exotic" rooms: Hawaii-themed rooms are everywhere, but you can also find a Provence-themed hotel here in Osaka, and I am sure all popular resort and travel destinations are covered somewhere in Japan. After all, they do have an Alcatraz-themed hotel in Gunma...

And then come the "cute" rooms: Japanese women LOVE anything cute, so inviting them to a "cute" room increases your chances of getting a positive answer, right?
Yes, right. And as a result, Teddy Bears, Hello Kitty, anime, Merry-Go-Rounds, Christmas angels in a Christmas wonderland... The whole gamut of children-oriented pop culture is represented in Japanese love hotels. I don't really understand how that puts people in a sexy mood, but to each his own I guess.

As an aside, a famous love hotel in Osaka has a S&M Hello Kitty room. No comment needed...

This abundance of choice also means that numerous websites are devoted to love hotel tourism; and most local entertainment magazines feature articles on the latest rooms/hotels, right between the "new restaurants" and the "cinema schedules" sections. There is no better proof of the respectabilty the love hotel has acquired in Japanese society... So if you have a chance, no need to feel embarassed! Choose the night's theme, and just go for it... It's money you won't regret.

Just avoid that schmaltzy Christmas Wonderland hotel. It really sucks.

Love Hotels Part I: Rest Or Stay?

2007-01-11T18:52:00.000-08:00

There is a list of "Things To Do" when travelling in Japan: visit a few temples, go to a sento (public bath) or onsen (hot springs), eat at a real sushi restaurant, try pachinko (a kind of vertical pinball), get lost in a "tech town" district like Akihabara in Tokyo or Den-Den Town in Osaka...

...And of course, spend a night in a "Love Hotel".

Love hotels are inexpensive but high-quality hotels where rooms can be booked by the hour ("rest") or for the night ("stay"). They are primarily aimed at the young couple in quest of intimacy, and emphasize discretion so as not to embarass their customers. Thus, they are generally located off the main streets, and their entrances and exits are slightly concealed. The only thing you see of the staff is their hands when they take your money. In the parking lots, screens raise to hide the cars number plates. All is made to minimize the risk of meeting an acquaintance by chance... Although, of course, it sometimes happens! There are many stories of people bumping into their regular partner in the hall of a love hotel. I guess it must be funny.

The really surprising thing about love hotels, though, is their sheer number. They can be found everywhere. It is quite interesting, considering that the Japanese are not known for frequent intercourse. According to my friends, the success of love hotels is due to 3 kinds of people:

-Young couples: in Japan, most people live with their parents up until marriage, and it is unthinkable to invite your loved one for a week-end at the family home; so the hotel is the only place to go until marriage. And even if one of the partners has his/her own place, Japanese people are very shy about inviting people to their homes (even people they feel intimate enough with to have sex together), so many starting couples prefer to meet on "neutral ground".

-Older couples: Japanese apartments are famously cramped and poorly soundproofed. So couples with kids or living with elderly parents (a common occurence throughout Asia) rarely feel relaxed enough to make love at home. So they go to a place where they can concentrate on having fun: the love hotel next door, for example.

And then there are the "other couples", or as Lisa Katayama put it in Wired "politician and secretary, teacher and student, husband and hooker"... In Japan, married couples are notoriously uninterested in conjugal sex ("sexless couples" are one of the most common themes in the Japanese media), but it doesn't mean they have no libido... And quite often that libido goes into extra-marital affairs. Anyway, these "other couples" can certainly use the privacy of a love hotel!

To be continued in: Love Hotels Part II, a room for every fantasy!

On the phone

2007-01-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

My company is, by Japanese standards, fairly easygoing. You can ask the boss "Hey Yoshi, whaddyawant for lunch?" without getting fired; actually without raising a single eyebrow in the room. Cynics will say it's the "you can call me whatever you want as long as you work 12 hours a day " attitude, but still it's pretty unusual in Japan.

Things change when interacting with customers: then it's all subdued attitudes, endless sentences in polite Japanese, and a general emphasis on not contradicting the customer or giving him / her any bad feelings. This attitude is directly linked to the uchi soto syndrome, in which people are very relaxed when in their intimate group and very awkward when outside that same group; and it may look a bit silly, but it is one reason why service is always so good in Japan, so it's really something to be grateful for!

Anyway, the really interesting thing is to observe my co-workers on the phone. Maybe to make up for the fact that they can't use body language to express their humility, their voice becomes exaggeratedly meek. They really speak like little girls! And they even bow on the phone when saying good bye. Now that's politeness! (By the way, I have heard of people bowing to the fax machine when an important fax comes in...)

This situation has two upsides for me though: I get to laugh my head off at my co-workers; and, although my Japanese is fairly decent, they will NEVER let me answer the phone. He he.

After they hang up though, my co-workers often curse copiously at the customers and their unrealistic demands. Some things are the same everywhere, I guess.

Wires

2006-12-22T05:47:00.000-08:00

One of the common cliches regarding Japanese cities is how futuristic they look. A step into 2030 blah blah... Well we must not be seeing the same cities. While all Japanese cities have some very modern districts, mostly they're just a sprawl of ugly low-rise buildings covered in neon. And as far as I know, neon hasn't looked futuristic in at least 25 years.

But I digress. The really striking thing about Japanese cities is that, as in developing countries, electric wires are not buried but just hung up above the streets. So when you're walking the city, it's always with a mess of electric wires overhead. It takes some time getting used to but for Japanese people, it is such an habitual sight that when you ask them why they don't bury the wires, they just look at you with a blank stare that says, "but what for??".

It is quite paradoxical, considering how much Japanese people love and admire European cities, that they don't see the point in making their own cities beautiful. The Japanese approach to architecture seems to be mostly utilitarian: build fast, cheap, and functional. It used to puzzle me to no end: the Japanese are design addicts who love quality products with a perfect finish and have an obsession for detail, so why don't they mind living in ugly cities where electric wires loom over the streets?

That paradox has a name: it's the "uchi and soto" paradigm. "Uchi" means "my house", "at home", or sometimes "I". "Soto" is "outside, exterior". The Japanese feel uchi when they are with members of their group, in a familiar environment, or in places where they can relax; they feel soto in any other setting: with strangers, in open public places, or anytime they can't be themselves. According to this paradigm, being in a uchi or soto setting conditions the whole behaviour of Japanese people as well as how they feel about their surroundings. In an uchi setting, they are warm-hearted, relaxed, and enjoy life. In a soto setting, they "don the armor": they are distant and inexpressive, never let their guard down, and enjoying life is the furthest thing from their mind.

So for example, if a Japanese has lunch with a new business acquaintance, they will stay very formal, ask few questions, and barely enjoy the food. Talk about awkward! But on the other hand, friends having lunch together generally laugh and giggle with less reserve than you'd find in the West. They don't look inscrutable then!

So, next time the Japanese puzzle you, the uchi and soto paradigm might help you make sense of their behaviour. In the meantime, just a quick disclaimer: Japan has some amazing architects, and when the Japanese bother to try and make a part of the city look nice, it looks really great. Too bad it doesn't happen very often... The ugly wires are here to stay.

Squealing bicycles.

2006-12-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

One favourite conversation topic among expats living in Japan is, you guessed it, Japan. Or to be more accurate, Japan bashing. Everything is fair game to relieve one's stress and frustrations: when will the Japanese ever learn English, and they must be really dumb to fork 10k Yen for a bleeding melon, and man can Japanese sararimen make fool of themselves when they're drunk, and if they're really such great engineers why can't they design bicycles that don't squeal like dying pigs when you brake, and so on, and so forth.

You quickly learn to ignore this twaddle - it gets fairly repetitive - but there's one point where the foreigners get it 100% wrong: that bicycle brakes story. It is a fact that the blood-curdling squeal of a braking bicycle is one of the most common sounds to be heard in the streets of Japan, and it's not one you get used to. So how come Japanese engineers can design the world's best robots, phones and cars, but not simple bicycle brakes?

And, Japan bashers add, you forget bicycle bells. Yes, they are also completely useless. I have never seen a Japanese bicycle bell work for more than a week after you buy a new bicycle. Actually, you NEVER hear one in Japan. So, you might ask, what do Japanese people do when they need to ask someone to clear the way?

This is where the argument gets tricky: since you cannot use your bicycle bell, when you need to clear the way you just brake abruptly and you can be sure the resulting squeal will get the message loud and clear to everyone around. Sounds rude and completely inefficient? Think again. Because in Japan, bicycle brakes and bells are poorly designed on purpose.

You see, ringing a bicycle bell makes Japanese people feel awkward, because it means "hey, you're in my way, move out!" and no self-respecting Japanese person would want to be so rude. Whereas if you are "forced to brake" at the last second because there are people in your way, and if said brakes unfortunately squeal very loud, well you didn't mean to be rude, so you don't need to feel awkward. And the people who were in your way get the message that they need to move, but they don't get the bad feeling that comes from clearly being told so by an annoyed bicycle ring. In other words, conflict was avoided, harmony was preserved, the group is at peace.

Thanks to the engineers who designed "bad" brakes and bicycle rings.

Only in Japan.

I shocked my coworkers the other day.

2006-11-30T23:12:00.000-08:00

We were talking about how Japanese Pop Culture is perceived in the West; and while they knew manga and anime to be wildly popular all over the world, they were quite surprised to realize cosplay and hentai had also become common words in English.

To prove my point, I showed them some Western cosplay websites... Their incredulity soon turned into gasps of horror as they looked at page after page of Westerners dressed as anime or videogame characters, and when they saw the list of cosplay conventions all over the world. You see, Japanese people are not really proud of their "weirdoes", be they otaku technology geeks, hentai fetishists, or "strange dressers" of the many kinds available in Japan. Most Japanese people are very proud of Japan's homogeneity and correctness; and as such they are rather nonplussed when they discover that Westerners see Japan as "cool" because it's a land of strangely-dressed, tentacle-rape fantasizing computer geeks. And try as I might, I couldn't convince them that "Weird Japan" was way cooler than their image of hard-working, honest and polite office workers creating the best DVD players in the world.

DVD players, he he. All the better to watch hentai anime with, my child...

Cosplay Yakiniku??

2006-11-23T23:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of the "Morning Musume"? They aren't as popular as they used to be, but they still have a cult following: the Musume are Japan's answer to the Spice Girls, a group of supercute 15 year-old girls singing some canned lyrics and dancing to some canned tunes. Their lyrics make the Backstreet Boys sound like Jane Austen. But who cares! They're supercute.

How would you like girls dressed as Morning Musume to wait on you at a barbecued meat restaurant?

Not too much? So how about Budweiser girls? Nurses in sexy outfits? Flight attendants? Anime heroins? High School girls? French maids?

Welcome to the world of Cosplay Yakiniku Tabehodai, a very popular style of restaurants here in Japan. The principle is simple: it's a rather inexpensive all-you-can-eat grilled meat restaurant, staffed by girls dressed as something cute, funny or exotic. It might sound childish, kinky or simply surreal (Nurse! Some more sirloin please!), but for Japanese people it makes sense: food, drinks and cute/sexy girls have always been considered a perfect combination for a merry evening with friends or colleagues. And don't think Cosplay Restaurants are only for men either: Japanese girls have a very broad definition of what is "cute" or "fun", and if a Cosplay Restaurant is known for its lively atmosphere, they will just flock there without second thoughts.

And you know what? I think Japanese people have a point there. If it's fun, just go for it!

Food, drinks... And a twist.

2006-11-17T01:37:00.000-08:00

So you're going to travel to Japan. From what you must have heard, the food is going to be all sushi, tempura, ramen, plus a lot of weird stuff, right?

It can be... But it can also be much more fun that that. Consider, for example, the "Moe" Maid Cafes...

The "Moe" Maid Cafes are a fairly recent invention. Basically, it's a regular cafe where the waitresses are cute young Japanese girls wearing lacy French maid outfits and treating you with the utmost respect; the kind of respect a 19th century affluent French bourgeois would command from his servants. Depending on the place, the food and cakes will be plain to good, but it will always emphasize cuteness and girlishness (think lots of strawberries...). Yes, it's a little kinky, but do you really mind?

The "Moe" phenomenon originated in Tokyo's notoriously geek-friendly district of Akihabara, but has now spread to most major Japanese cities. And while the original target customer for Moe cafes was neurotic otakus (technology geeks), the concept has been so succesful that nowadays all kinds of people visit these cafes, just because it's cute and fashionable. Chances are, you won't even stand out too much...

A cup of coffee at a Moe cafe will probably cost you more than at the ubiquitous Starbucks, and the exquisite politeness of the maids will probably be partly lost on you (unless your Japanese is REALLY good), but the weirdness of the experience is certainly worth your Yen. Without revealing too much, let's just say that the Moe concept has been really well-thought, with great attention to detail and finesse of execution... Well, as usual in Japan.

Introduction

2006-11-16T22:58:00.000-08:00

Welcome to "Only In Japan"! This blog is for everyone who thinks Japan is a weird country. While I agree many things here are quite funny indeed, it seems to me that Japan has its own internal logic, and if you can see things from the Japanese point of view, it all slowly starts to make sense. So I compiled all my bewilderments, asked my Japanese friends and colleagues for their points of view on everything strange or funny I had met or heard of, and there you have it...

Only In Japan!