Niche restaurants

For a number of reasons, the Japanese eat out often - probably more so than any other people on Earth. The main reasons must be that work colleagues generally have dinner together after a day at the office ("to forge bonds between workers"), people generally meet their friends at a restaurant rather than at home (Japanese homes and flats being so cramped), the Japanese are fundamentally epicurians who love being served... Anyway, the result is an incredible 1 restaurant or food joint for 88 people in Japan.

Think about it. It's pretty amazing.

Of course, the direct consequence of this situation is that competition between restaurants is extremely intense. The advertising market for restaurants is huge, and many TV programmes are devoted to this most popular topic. Restaurants also compete fiercely on price, design, innovation, service... Then when all else is exhausted, the most ambitious restaurants turn to niche markets.

And that's where it gets fun. Consider, for example, the "Moe" Maid Cafes...

The "Moe" (pronounced mo-EH) Maid Cafes are a fairly recent invention. Basically, they're regular cafes where the waitresses are cute young Japanese girls wearing lacy French maid outfits and treating customers with the utmost politeness; the kind of manners level an affluent 19th century French bourgeois would command from his servants. Depending on the place, the food and cakes will be plain to good, but there will always be an emphasis on cuteness and girlishness (think lots of strawberries and cream, and plenty of white-chocolate hearts...). Yes, it's a little kinky, but so what?

The "Moe" phenomenon originated in Tokyo's notoriously geek-friendly district of Akihabara, but has now spread to most major Japanese cities. And while the original target customer for Moe cafes was neurotic otaku (technology and manga geeks), the concept has been so succesful that recently all kinds of people have started to visit these cafes, just because they're a cute and fashionable. But ironically, there are so many "regular people" at those cafes nowadays that the poor otaku now feel completely out of place in the very shops that were created for them...

Anyway, a cup of coffee at a Moe cafe is quite a bit more expensive than at the ubiquitous Starbucks, but the lovely atmosphere and exquisite politeness of the maids do make up for the price difference. Besides, the Moe concept has been really well-thought, with great attention to detail and finesse of execution (as usual in Japan, you might say), all of which make a visit to one of these "maid cafes" a really funny and interesting experience.

Oh, and as an aside: Moe Madness is expanding! Not only internationally (Moe cafes can now be found as far away as Toronto and Paris), but also in its variety: with Moe hairdressers, Moe foot massage, Moe estheticians, etc., the French maid addict can now see all (well, almost all...) of his desires satisfied!
And not surprisingly considering Japan's particular brand of gender equality, "butler cafes" have also started to open in Tokyo. You guess the concept: good looking young men in tails, tuxedos or butler outfits trying to make their female customers feel like they are princesses... Something tells me business is going to be very brisk for the butlers.


Anyway, on to a very different kind of niche restaurants: Cosplay yakiniku!

Have you ever heard of the "Morning Musume"? They aren't as popular as they used to be, but they still have a cult following: the Musume are Japan's answer to the Spice Girls, a group of supercute 15 year-old girls singing some canned lyrics and dancing to some canned tunes. Their lyrics make the Backstreet Boys sound like Jane Austen, but who cares! They're supercute.

Now how would you like to have girls dressed as Morning Musume wait on you at a barbecued meat restaurant?

Not too much? So how about Budweiser girls? Nurses in sexy outfits? Flight attendants? Anime heroins? High School girls? French maids? There's bound to be an outfit that will titillate you!

Welcome to the world of Cosplay yakiniku, a very popular style of restaurants here in Japan. The principle is simple: they are inexpensive all-you-can-eat grilled meat restaurants, staffed by girls dressed as something cute, funny or exotic. It might sound childish, kinky or simply surreal (Nurse! Some more sirloin please!), but for Japanese people it does make sense: food, drinks and cute/sexy girls have always been considered a perfect combination for a merry evening out with friends or colleagues. The fact that the girls wear kinky costumes only adds to the fun, which in turn will help everyone relax more... Unwinding from all the stress of daily life is one of the major reasons why the Japanese like to eat out, so the girls in High School uniforms fit perfectly in the picture!
And by the way, don't think Cosplay Restaurants are only for men either: Japanese women have a very broad definition of what is "cute" or "fun", so if a Cosplay Restaurant is known for its lively atmosphere, they will just flock there without second thoughts. And actually, I think they have a point: If it's fun, just go for it!

Maybe not for a first date, but you get the idea.


So let's say that following my advice, you went to a Moe cafe, and then to a Cosplay yakiniku restaurant; you might now be thinking "yeah that was fun, but I expected something kinkier. Japan isn't really all it's cracked up to be..."
To which I say: try "no-bra" cafes. Or "no-pants" shabu-shabu. Neither is exactly cheap, but both will make for interesting conversation when your friends back home ask how Japan was like.

No-bra cafes are just regular cafes, quiet places where you can sip a capuccino after lunch. Of course, if very busty and very topless waiteresses tend to break your concentration, you might not be able to enjoy your coffee very much, but that's just a detail, isn't it?

Personally, I only go there because the coffee is good though.

No really! I mean it!

Anyway, if you are looking for real kink, "no-pants" shabu-shabu is the place to go... Even most Japanese people consider them a bit on the weird side, which says a lot!

Shabu-shabu is the name of a traditional Japanese specialty: thin slices of beef dipped in boiling water for just a split second (so as to preserve the softness of the meat) then dipped in a traditional Japanese sauce. Try it if you have a chance!

As to the "no-pants" part... Well, let's just say that the young and cute waitresses wear very short mini-skirts and nothing underneath. The floor of those restaurants is generally mirrored. And the fun part is to find excuses to make the staff stand on the tip of their toes, bend over, or generally do anything that will give the customers a chance to peep under their skirts. Sounds offensive? But it's all in good fun, no touching is allowed, and most waitresses are students playing their part of the game for a very generous hourly salary. So if you go there, no need to feel guilty...
Anyway when the bill comes, your feeling of horror will have quenched any ethical dilemmas you might have been having.

Beats Hooters any day, don't you think?

Wa meets the West...Wa, part 3

Yes, a third instalment about Wa... It's the last one though, I swear! But I think it is important to show that the heart of Japan, Wa, with its oppressiveness and its gentleness, is changing and evolving. The social harmony generally admired by Westerners travelling to Japan (the safety, the politeness, the sense of order...) is based to a great extent on an unremitting pressure to conform to the norms of the group and erase one's personal feelings; but this social pressure-based society can hardly coexist with the individualism introduced by the West. Japan is very much a battlefield between these two doctrines, and surely the Japanese can be forgiven for being confused until they sort things out...

The oppressiveness of Japanese society derives mainly from Confucianism, the social doctrine upon which East Asia was built. Confucianism is a school of thought that clearly defines each individual's place in society and his/her rights and duties based on age, gender, rank in society, order of birth among siblings... All these clearly define who is "junior" and who is "senior" in any relationship, as well as what behaviour and manner level are appropriate in any situation.
And "of course", men are more important than women, age is paramount, and in groups or at work ancienty and education level are also major factors in determining rank. In other words: Confucianist societies (most groups in Eastern Asian countries) are, fundamentally, dictatorships of old men. Whether at home, at school or at work, the oldest men in the group have all rights and no duties, and can lord it over everyone else with no possible dissent. And that regardless of virtue, skill, or actual achievement... Whereas junior members of society are only allowed to grit their teeth and wait patiently for their turn to rule.

The practical consequences of this system is that justice is inexistent (if the highest ranking person is always right, then justice just can't exist), people work (or pretend to work) very long and hard, much talent and intelligence is wasted, and society is extremely conservative and has a hard time adapting to a changing environment . On the other hand, Confucianists see Western equalitarianism as resulting in everyone doing nothing but clashing egos with everyone else, being too self-centred to cooperate with anyone, and as a result wasting their time and energy for, in the end, little result and no satisfaction.

For example, in an archetypical Confucianist family, the husband and father may be a drunken slob who beats his wife and kids when the whim takes him, spend most of his salary on gambling and women, and never allows anyone in his house to have an opinion; all these are his rights. And after all, the house will be in order, the kids will study very hard, and the wife will have the twin satisfactions of seeing her children grow into respectable adults and of being part of a stable household; isn't that true happiness? Who could call that man a bad household leader?

For that same drunken slob of a husband and father, a Western family is just Pandemonium. The parents disagree all the time, get divorced as soon as they find someone they fancy more than their present spouse, the kids talk back to their parents and only study what they like when they feel like it, everyone feels entitled to everything, and in the end no-one is even really happy. If that is an enlightened family based on love and mutual respect, then by all means let us back to the Dark Ages! the Confucian would say.

Of course I could have taken politics, work or education instead of the family to illustrate that rift in values between Confucian and Western thinking, but the basic thinking is pretty much the same: from a Confucianist point of view, authoritarianism just works better than anarchy or weak-handed democracy.

Anyway, on to Japan: Japan is pretty much the troubled kid of a Utah Mormon and an Oregon hippie when it comes to social values. In other words: sheer confusion! That's what happens when 1300 years of Confucianism are, in the space of just a few generations, replaced with the notion that Asia is the past and only the West is worthy of admiration... When a society based on duty, tradition and the group clashes with a society based on freedom, rationalism and the individual, it is easy to guess how much mayhem is sure to ensue.

It often feels to me that the Japanese adapt to this situation with a bit of hypocrisy and a bit of opportunism...
That hypocrisy can be seen in the Japanese adopting a Confucian mindframe when it suits them, and then a Western one when it is more appropriate to their interests. The typical example is that of young Japanese women: most of them pretend to dream of a Western-style love relationship, filled with mutual respect and kindness, but at the same time some of the first things they look at in a prospective husband are his salary and how wealthy his family is... Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it!
As to opportunism, it is fairly obvious when you observe where, on the Confucian to equalitarian scale, the Japanese place themselves. For example, most men, especially the older ones, are resolutely Confucian (not much for them to gain in Western equalitarianism), whereas young people (especially women) are all in for Western meritocracy and equalitarianism. Of course, as their station in life changes, their "affiliation" will also evolve...

So are the Japanese just sly opportunists? Maybe. But more than anything else, I think they are pretty much confused by the conflicting values of their past and their present, of traditionalism and rationalism, of Asia and the West. It is hard to find the right path when you constantly hear two opposite opinions as to what that path is! And when in doubt, it is always very tempting to choose the path of self-interest...
Eventually though, I believe the Japanese will realise that only a society based on equality and fairness can work, while not forgetting that too much individualism and ego will poison any group relationship. The best of both worlds, of West and East... The Japanese can find a truer harmony than Wa, I am sure. But the road will be long...

When work is over...Wa, part 2

While the Japanese spend most of their time in public groups (at work, school etc), it only makes them cherish their private time more. But the way they behave in private groups - with friends, family and partner-, and what they mean by "good relationships in the group" are quite specifically Japanese: much more than Westerners, the Japanese tend to structure group relationships and determine everyone's role in the group very precisely. Their weak point is that they are not very good at managing group relationships that don't have such a structure...

But first, something about friendships in Japan: the Japanese are generally very organised, and believe in the importance of networks and maintaining good relationships with everyone, so they tend to keep friend networks forever. For example, a Japanese in his/her fifties will have accumulated many friend groups over the years: from all the schools they went to (from primary school to University), from the hobby or learning groups they belonged to (English conversation, flower arrangement, tennis...), from each job or part-time job they did... And of course, one of the results of this abundance of friend networks is that a sociable Japanese has to spend a lot of time every year meeting their group friends, keeping up to date on what happened to everyone, and keeping in touch.

But the funny thing is that when those friend groups convene, they will generally fall back on the group conventions that were established ages earlier: for example, High School tennis club members meeting twenty years after graduation will still see the "senior" members lead the conversation, the "shy" characters listen and giggle quietly, the "skirt-chasers" or "men magnets" talk expertly about the opposite gender... Eventhough their present situations might have changed completely. Maybe the shy girl is the new men magnet, the skirt-chaser got married early and hasn't played around in 15 years, whereas the one or two years the "senior" members had on the "junior" members don't mean much anymore... But everyone will pretend nothing has changed.

It feels that unlike in the West where friends meet in groups to see how everyone changed, in Japan they meet for the pleasure of sliding back into comfortable old relationships. Of course, little by little everyone will try to modify their status in the group to something closer to their present reality, but that is quite a minor theme. Actually, change goes against the basic reason for such meetings: basking in the warmth of an accepting group is what everyone is really after. Wa with almost no pressure... No wonder the Japanese work so hard to maintain lifelong group relationships!

Family and couple relationships show a much less rosy picture: that of Wa gone missing. Traditionally (until the 60's at least), males have always been the axis of such relationships; the father being the undisputed leader of the family, and the male the senior member in a couple. It might sound barbarian to us nowadays, but it provided structure to those complex relationships; now that Japan is a much more equalitarian society, things are fairer, but the lack of a guideline is felt quite harshly in couples and families.

A few figures illustrate this situation very explicitly:
-1/3 of all Japanese women over 30 are unmarried (one in two in Tokyo);
-There is one divorce every 2 minutes in Japan;
-The birth rate, somewhere between 1,2 and 1,3 children per woman, is one of the lowest in the world;
-While in the world people have sex on average 103 times a year, the Japanese only do so around 45 times a year (according to the Durex Sex Survey). It is by far the lowest average recorded.

What these bleak figures mean is simple: the Japanese don't know how to build and maintain a couple anymore, or how to create a succesful family.
In fact, they give the impression they are stuck in an uncomfortable place between the traditional Japanese couple and the equalitarian couple: men still seem to hope that devoting their lives to their jobs to bring home a good salary will be enough to earn them respect and gratitude from their wife and children; but said wife and children want their husbands / fathers to be a cheerful and caring presence at home as well. Most men also certainly hope they can be that warm presence for their family; but consider that most Japanese live in conurbations, and start their families at the peak of their professional lives (between 30 and 40): the result is that they are bound to have to spend every day commuting for hours, working late, and will very regularly have to go for drinks with their colleagues and customers. Even with the best of intentions, it is hard to be a good husband and father in those conditions... But when wife and children realise their husband / father will rarely have time to even talk to them, they generally lose interest and respect quickly, and often come to see them just as occasional nuisances that disrupt the regular (though unhappy) family order.

So men see their wives and children as selfish bloodsuckers just interested in draining them off of their salaries, and are seen by their wives and children as selfish boors, not taking part in family life but still expecting everything to revolve around them when they come back home, late and half-drunk, from work. Of course, that situation is a vicious circle: both sides feel increasingly justified in not making any more efforts... It is relatively easy for men to find respect and affection away from home, and also very easy for women to get trapped in frustration over their lives and their husbands; so it should come as no surprise that most divorces are initiated by women... But as everyone else, it is the children who pay the highest emotional toll.

The problem is that equalitarianism has destroyed the old order of rights and duties, but nothing has replaced it. Hoping that "mutual respect springing out from equality" would naturally replace paternalism is, in my opinion, as gross a delusion as thinking that toppling Saddam Hussein would be enough to turn Iraq into a democracy. Unfortunately, just as I have no idea of what will bring harmony to Iraq, I can't see what will (re)create mutual respect in Japanese couples. Shorter working hours and commute (by developping more housing in the cities and less in the suburbs for example) would be a step in the right direction, but I very much doubt it would be enough.

I think the Japanese are still going to have to find most of their happiness in friendship for a long time...

Wa, part 1

Traveling in Japan or living here for a while might sound very fun, but would you be happy to be Japanese? Their lives don't look too great, do they?
An army of workers in suits and ties, living their lives just for their company, stuck in a strict hierarchy... In fact, "worker bee" is a term the Japanese themselves often use (in jest, though) to describe their lives, and that probably doesn't mean they are too satisfied. But that impression is misleading; for actually, most Japanese are strongly drawn to that kind or group relationships, in which they can find Wa.

Wa, the principle underpinning Japanese society, is one of the key concepts necessary to understand Japan. Wa is generally translated as "group harmony", but that is as much a simplification as translating "ninja" with "assassin": while technically it is correct, a lot of the specific cultural background is lost in translation.
For most Japanese, Wa is a feeling close to perfection: a group situation in which everything goes smoothly, without contestation or ill will, everyone knows their place and act accordingly.

Wa is obviously a very broad topic, so I will treat it in two parts: the public sphere (education, politics, business, unions, research...) and the private sphere (friends, lovers and families). Keep in mind that things are changing, in Japan as much as everywhere; and young people, especially, might seem to think quite differently from what I describe. Still, I personally think as usual that in Japan, a very traditional spirit is more often than not hidden behind the modern facade...

But first things first: how is Wa really different from Western-style group harmony? After all, eventhough opinions might generally be worded more strongly in the West, it is not like Westerners are constantly at each other's throats!
Well... It is just that what social harmony is based on is completely different whether you live in Japan or in the West. In the West, group harmony is (theoretically) based on equality, respect and the right to be oneself: if everyone is treated fairly and feeling happy, then group relationships are supposed to flow smoothly, right?
But in Confucian countries like Japan, China and Korea, harmony is considered to exist when everyone in the group knows precisely his/her place in the hierarchy and behaves accordingly. In other words, when personal feelings are kept out of the equation, and everyone lets loyalty to the group override the yearning for fairness and personal happiness.

Which system works best? It is very tempting to answer "well, the Western system, of course!"; and I would tend to agree with that system in theory, but in practice I doubt things ever work smoothly. I think that when too much individuality and too many expectations of personal fulfillment make their way into group relationships, the whole thing is bound to degenerate into ego conflicts and petty frustrations. Of course, people are not robots, so personal feelings are bound to be a factor in any group relationship; but opening the Pandora's box of happiness and feelings more than necessary is, in my opinion, not a recipe for harmony.

The Japanese Confucean system doesn't really work either, but for different reasons. Actually, being a rigidly hierarchical system, it can work if the person at the top is very good at managing people, but it rarely works that way. Confucean systems are very good at bringing old men to the top of any group and provides no balance of powers. You guess the rest: men progressively stop working or trying to learn new things as they get older, knowing fully well that seniority will keep them rising in the ranks regardless. Besides, they are free to abuse and overwork the females and subordinates in their group, so why bother doing one's best?

You might wonder why said females and subordinates accept that situation. They do so for different reasons: women because they don't intend to stay there anyway - career women are still few and far between, and women who quit their job after marriage are still the norm - and men because 1/ they don't really have much choice and 2/ because they know that if they bid their time for long enough, seniority will turn them into Almighty Old Men, a very enviable position in Japan as anywhere in Asia.

But rapidly increasing numbers of women and young people don't accept that Confucean approach to harmony, and prefer to concentrate on finding Wa in peer groups instead of the workplace. Tempers and part-timers are the best representatives of this recent trend; they are still a minority, especially among men, but they reflect the changing expectations of the young generation.

Will the Japanese manage to strike a better balance between work and private life, and between Confucean hierarchy and Western equalitarianism? Find out next week!

Portrait

It is debatable whether drawing "national archetypes" has much sociological value. If you say "the average Swede is shy, rational, self-controlled, and believes in ecology, gender equality and community group", for example, any serious sociologist will answer "give me some serious statistics to back your claims, or else they're nothing but cheap racial characterisations!"

And the Sociologist will be right.

So just so you know, today's post is NOT a sociology essay, though it showcases some typical Japanese attitudes that would puzzle most people in the West. It is just a portrait of one of the many unsung heroes of the Japanese economy, a nice guy with a complex personality, who ended up selling his soul to his company.

And that "typical Japanese man" is my colleague and good friend Blackfield (not his real name, obviously), who is just now slumping on his desk 1.30 meters in front of me. 30 years old, slim, slightly dyed hair, glasses, a nervous look on his face: you would probably not pay attention to him if he were sitting next to you in the subway. If you look closer though, you will notice that he is inexpensively well-dressed, in a style quite of his own, and maybe that would let you guess the sensitivity hidden behind his "worker bee" demeanor.

Because the truth is, Blackfield is a real nerve ball. The Japanese would say, "it's not surprising he is so nervous, his blood type is A!"... Which would make him one of these people (quoting myself, sorry):
"Blood type A people are nervous perfectionists, law-abiding and working well in groups. They have a "perfect employee and good citizen" image, but are also associated with what Westerners call an anal-retentive personality, and as such are sometimes regarded as "not fun"."

And the thing is, that's exactly him! Blackfield is the "straight arrow", absolutely loyal, always doing the right thing, always terrified to do wrong, never relaxing, and happy in only one circumstance: when he has too much work and too many responsabilities, and he knows everyone is aware he is working too hard. Blackfield is also extremely patient: however much abuse the boss, the customers and I might throw at him, he always takes it without complaining, and never says no.

It's not that he doesn't have an opinion, far from it: Blackfield is very intelligent and realisitic, so he generally knows pretty accurately if something is going to work or not. But that's where Blackfield shows he is a true Japanese: for him, the truth is something akin to dynamite, i.e. a substance that can sometimes be useful, but which most of the time only means "deadly dangerous". So for fear of disrupting the group harmony, or making someone feel bad, Blackfield will often lie (especially by omission), evade the topic, mislead, or answer with generalities that he knows full well to be false. And for the same reason, he will rarely say "no". Of course, this often puts him in an awkward position, and generally has rather bad long-term consequences for him; but he feels it is the only way to make everyone live and work happily together, so he goes on lying as cheerfully as an Italian politician.

There is one topic, especially, about which he has a very "creative" approach to truth: his beloved country, Japan. Blackfield loves Japan, hates to have to admit its ugly sides, and always tries to promote "beautiful Japan", the fictional country that exists only in his head. Sadly, I think he has a lot in common with nationalists like Shintarou Ishihara, the racist and ultraconservative governor of Tokyo. Blackfield is not racist; he is actually rather tolerant and interested in foreign countries. But when it comes to Japan, he will always put a spin on the topic at hand, and I never believe anything he has to say on the subject.

Case in point: two weeks ago, we were talking about Sumo, and I asked him "is it true that Sumo is often rigged?"
I knew for a fact that Sumo IS completely corrupted, but I pretended not to know. Anyway, in typical Blackfield fashion he answered "well, I heard some Korean and Chinese wrestlers cheated sometimes, but that's about it..." which is a huge and blatant lie, of course! He knew fully well that most Sumo wrestlers are cheaters, and finally admitted it after I teased him a little. The look of embarrassment on his face was just priceless...

But on to a more interesting topic: Blackfield and women. As you can guess, they go together like blue cheese and mango ice-cream; still I am sure women are very much on his mind. But he would rather eat a live cockroach than talk to a woman he doesn't know! Actually, there's something of "The 40-Year Old Virgin" about him: you know, that guy who "respects women too much to desire them"? That's Blackfield.
The sad thing is, I think he would be the best husband ever: devoted, loyal, kind, interesting, funny... He is not really suitable for anyone, but the strong woman with a powerful grip who gets him will never regret it. To that special lady, I recommend: scold him regularly, make him jump through hoops and work hard even for modest rewards, but sometimes acknowledge his efforts with slight praise, and he will forever be by your side.

Yes, as you must have guessed it by now, Blackfield is fundamentally masochistic. Actually, I'm sure there is a gimp outfit under his bed, and his wettest dreams involve some East-German dominatrix spanking him as a punishment for his naughtiness.

So if you know a smart, single woman with a taste for cracking the whip, by all means leave a message! Just one thing though: it would be even better if that woman were also a Star Wars fan like him...

May the Force be with Blackfield!